Why You Should Embrace Writer's Block

by Jody Aberdeen

Peevish Nation, I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you: we're living in the Age of Paradoxical Solutions.

Y'all know what I'm talking about: those bumper sticker nuggets, the pretty pictures of flowers, landscapes, and sunsets that have nothing to do with the words written on them, often in Comic Sans Serif or, if the author is completely shameless, Times New Roman in Bold face. 

And what do the quotes say? Things like "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" (props to Mr. Palahniuk for that one) and "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly" (word to Bobby Kennedy....hmmm, I actually love that one).   You get the idea.  They don't seem to make sense, but they also do, if that makes any sense? Which it does, even if it doesn't. Right?

Before I get too scrambled, I'll get to the point: the best way to ignore Writer's Block?  Embrace it.  With open arms. That's the first step to restoring the flow of words.

I know, I'm advocating carnal sin here for many of you, but the way I see it, the angels have already stacked the deck in favor of productivity and hard work, and at heart, I'm lazy and like to nap in the afternoon rather than do anything productive.

Talent, Skill, and Paradigms

Writers are born with the talent to see stories and images, to think in pictures and then translate those images into words. Writers are developed through proper schooling in the technical skills of language.  Talent and skill are distinct from each other: you can teach anyone proper spelling and grammar, but you can't help someone who isn't born with the talent to see stories in pictures. It's like trying to change a baby's skin or eye color after he or she is already born.

Midway between God-given talent and malleable skill sets lies a third dimension: the paradigm.  I'm borrowing the term from the performance coaching work I'm doing with Bob Proctor's Life Success Corporate school of thought that I've been blogging about chez moi for the past few weeks.  The paradigm is a set of ideas and habits that each person has, and this set is at once influenced by genetics and upbringing and by conscious thinking.  And one major paradigm that nearly all writers inherit is this idea of Writer's Block

That writers sometimes run out of words is a reality, plain and simple.  That sometimes writers can and do go without a flow of inspiration for days, months, even years is historical and present-day fact.  Hell, if you're reading this right now, you're probably quote-unquote "blocked" and spending your time on Peevish Penman when you should be getting back to that novel you've been workin' on.....actually, no, wait, stick around a while, we love you.  

I also don't want Carrie sending hired goons after me for dropping the site traffic (call it caffeine rage, the Wrath of Juan Valdez, or what have you).

So if it's a real thing and not a figment of our imagination, how does embracing Writer's Block clear it? Simple: because it's still a concept, a name, that someone somewhere in the past invented to describe their experience of losing the flow of words.  That person coined the term, and the rest of us started minting that denomination in our minds, our scribbles, and our drunk/caffeinated/stoned conversations with others in the wordslinging trade.

What we should have done was call "Writer's Block" by a different name.  Anything else, as long as it wasn't an image of something stopping us.

Back to paradigms.  We're trained in two things: we experience "blockage", and that we're supposed to hate it.  Because of that, whenever we get "blockage," we stop loving what we do and start hating it. The idea that this is how it's supposed to be is so widespread, we get virtually 100% social reinforcement from our friends and family who think the same way about the loss of flow, even if they themselves aren't writers.

It's in our nature to avoid unpleasantness, so even when we have tight deadlines, we find ways to avoid sitting down at the desk. We go for walks, we spend time with family, we go drinking, we exercise, we watch TV or read: anything to avoid doing that thing that we're blocked on, and of course, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Trouble is, even throughout this deliberate hedonism, we feel guilty because we're not writing, which further adds to the "blockage!".  It's easy to see why so many writers enter this kind of Zeno's Paradox of never getting to the end of a project: if it's not this, it's something else.

Shake Hands With The Devil

"So, O Eminent One," you may be asking, "how does one restore the flow of words?"  My preferred solution is in three parts.

First, embrace the Writer's Block. Seriously, try it. Open up your arms, nuzzle the blockage against your bosom. 

Guess what? You can't. Why? Because there's nothing there. Writer's Block doesn't physically exist. It's an idea, and ideas can be changed.

(Ten points to Gryffyndor if you actually opened your arms)

The loss of flow, however, is indeed a reality.  How do you get it back?  Well, obviously something threw off your groove.  Review your work and see if you lost a thread somewhere.  If the answer isn't in your work, and nothing's flowing again by the time you finish your review, that's when you get up and go do something else.  And when you do go to do something else, I want you to feel okay with it. 

You might say, "What if I'm on a tight deadline?  What if they need it in an hour?"  I think if that's the case, you'll find a way.  Look back on all those last minute "blockages" and I guarantee you'll find, more often than not, that you succeeded under pressure.  Really, that's what it takes: either high pressure to just crank out anything and restore the flow by force, or just occupying your body and mind for a while elsewhere so that fallow fields in your mind can grow again. 

Feeling guilty for not writing is absolutely unnecessary: it's what you love, but as Peter Cetera says, even the truest lovers need a break from each other every now and then.  (Yes, I just mined 1982's American Top 40 List for material. What of it?)

Re-think your conception of the loss of flow as being "Writer's Block" using a metaphor that empowers you to be able to change it: you need to refuel your inspiration, it's a break in the rain, leaving a field fallow, needing a change your batteries, whatever works.  Then all you have to do is chill.  Go to the gym. Spend time with your family. Go drinking with your friends. Enjoy life!

So yes, Peevish Nation, that's how you show Writer's Block what's what in the most godlike fashion that we godlike creatures can muster: by denying its ability to exist as a concept. 

You're welcome!

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Typos and Reputation

by Carrie Bailey

There's a continuum of writing between letter splatter with no discernible syntax or grammar and perfection, dry, dull, utterly risk free perfection. While some writers strive toward the latter in their work and edit until their hands permanently cramp, some writers are also missing the point. The rules of writing exist to facilitate communication and they ought to serve that purpose. 

Of course I'm impressed with myself when I find a typo or a spelling error or a grammatical mistake in a professional publication. However, this fleeting joy can lead to a slippery slope, one I believe many writers experience at one point or another in their careers.

Picture it. The young writer Jane identifies her first typo in a more established writers work and is flooded with confidence. She goes home and tells her mother who congratulates her...now her mind is swirling with all the brain chemicals that drug addicts and extreme sports enthusiasts only dream about. So, Jane begins correcting her friends' work. Her teachers praise her. You can see where this is going, can't you? She takes a job and is recommended due to her attention to detail. Jane edits her college newspaper. Typo after typo is identified by young Jane and writers retreat in embarrassment as she identifies errors in every one's emails, texts, and even the notes they leave on their roommates' doors after having one too many. Then one day, Jane is challenged by a writer who cites another style manual or just claims that their is precedent to leave the comma in. Rage wells up inside young Jane and she does what everyone knows she would do. Jane she smiles, leaves the room, goes back to her bare desk with nothing but an open laptop on it, and signs the other writer up for twenty mailing lists for tobacco products and bulk sale granny panties.

Poor Jane. I think everybody knows her. Unfortunately, they haven't seen her darkest side. Jane can't write. She's been paralyzed by her own quest for perfection. Images of smug writers finding fault with her manuscript haunt Jane's dreams. When she puts the pen to paper, she can only think of what criticism might follow. In fact, Jane has never completed any work and is no where near being published. Poor Jane. 

Every writer must come to terms with the reality of human error at one point or another in their career. Writers will make mistakes and often, the writer is aware of the error they made, but still overlooked it in a creative frenzy. Typos are inevitable and even the most careful editor will someday overlook one. However, the typos do not define the writer. The rules of writing can be glorified, but when they become an ends in themselves rather than simply the means to facilitate communication, the point has been lost.

Jane needs to know that it's okay to not be perfect. When we see one typo too clearly, whether our own or others, we can loose sight of the manuscript and become paralyzed creatively. Excellent grammar and punctuation are important for communication, but mistakes are part of being human, yes, even overlooking typos. 

When you identify a typo, by pointing it out to a writer, you are helping them improve their work. And if you do so graciously, the favor will probably be returned somewhere down the road. If you met someone who judges you based on a few minor errors, remember Jane. There are a lot of Janes on the road to publication. Don't kick them. Just ask them about their own work, offer to look it over, then point out what they are doing right and watch the Jane discover a new, more positive, source of pride.

The Nine Parts of Speech and the F-word

by Carrie Bailey

Warning: while in the pursuit of education, we sometimes fall short of good taste as in the case of this post wherein one expletive has been explored in its various manifestations within the context of English language usage.

Indeed, some people weren’t paying attention during grammar school and missed their opportunity to learn the nine parts of speech.  Many of them were busy hurling expletives at their instructors or paying attention to what the members of the opposite sex were occupied doing instead.  In order to remedy these gaps, these vast chasms in their educational attainment, one of the Peevish Penman editors has put together a lesson plan catering to their diverse interests. 

Also, in anticipation of National Punctuation Day, tomorrow September 24, we will pay homage to the nine parts of speech that punctuation clarifies.  On a related note, we will also be proving definitively that one word in the English dictionary can in fact be used to fill each and every one of the nine parts of speech and that word is fuck. 

NOUNS:

A noun is a word used to name something: a person/animal, a place, a thing, or an idea.  For example: What a fucker.  The word fucker is the noun.  There are many different types of nouns.  Nouns can be singular or plural.

for fuck’s sake vs. stupid fucks 

In this example, when we ask the question for whose sake the answer is for fuck, which denotes a single individual rather than many as in many stupid fucks.  Nouns can be common or proper. 

What a fuck vs. He is the Fuck of all fucks 

Proper nouns are capitalized as you can observe.  Nouns can also be concrete or abstract.  A dumb fuck would an example of a concrete noun, because the noun in question is a tangible person with a physical existence whereas the word fuck in the question who the fuck does not relate to any material object of a known size shape or quantity and is therefore abstract as an idea like justice or perspicacity. 

Nouns can also be gerunds, which generally end in “ing.”  Please note that this applies only when the word fills the role of a noun and not “ing” verbs, which are often preceded by the word am.  In this example the word fucking functions clearly as a noun:  Fucking is fucking fine.  And here it does NOT: He/she is fucking.

PRONOUNS:

Another important part of speech is the pronoun.  They are words that replace nouns and eliminate the need for repetition.  The most common way to employ the word fuck as a pronoun is by determining which noun is being replaced and adding the word that in front of fuck.

In the sentence John went to the bakery and bought a loaf of bread, we simply have to replace John with a word.  He went to the bakery… is the most common choice of pronoun, but as our language shifts to reflect the changing times it is becoming increasingly more common to see the word he passed over in favor of the following example:

That fuck went to the bakery and bought a loaf of bread.

In this situation the pronoun is a personal pronoun that replaces the subject of the sentence.  Personal pronouns may be subjects, objects, or possessives.  It is also a demonstrative pronoun because it indicates a noun.

Q: Which fuck?  

A: That fuck.

Reflexive pronouns name a receiver of an action who is identical to the doer of the action.  One example of a sentence without the use of a pronoun would be Jennifer walked her dog all by Jennifer’s self today.  This repetition is cumbersome and problematic, but easily solved with a reflexive pronoun.  Indeed it's more effectively expressed by substituting Jennifer’s self with a reflexive pronoun such as herself or by saying:

Jennifer walked her dog all by her own fucking self today.

Indefinite Pronouns refer to non-specific persons and things as in: Bruce and Sonali kissed one a-fucking nother.

Interrogative pronouns introduce questions such as: Who the fuck?  Which fuck?  What fucker?  How the fuck?  Whose fucking?  To whom the fuck?

It can, of course, be argued that these examples of interrogative pronouns do not employ the word fuck in a distinct and necessary manner; however the fact that each statement can and does regularly stand alone as a question proves its independence from other parts of speech.  Each forms a complete question requires no other words to make sense and solicit a sensical response.  Even more, in today’s language use, it is common to forgo the formal distinctions between these previous examples for an all encompassing:

Fuuuuuuuck?!

Often used when someone wants the answer to the question, but knows they’re not going to get it.  In this case it is most appropriate to draw out the “u” sound for emphasis that it is not an interjection, another important but distinct part of speech.

Relative pronouns introduce dependent clauses and refers to a person or thing already mentioned in the sentence (i.e. the antecedent). e.g whoever the fuck, whomever the fuck, which fucking, that fuck.... The concept can be further applied for this sort of pronoun.

ADJECTIVES:

An adjective modifies (describes) a noun or pronoun. 

What a fucking fuck.

They can form comparisons, normally preceded by more or be used to form superlatives, commonly expressed with the word most as in:

That was more fucked up than anything I’ve ever seen.

That was the most fucked up thing I have ever seen.

VERBS:

Verbs generally express action or a state of being. There are several classifications for verbs- action verbs,/linking verbs, main verbs/auxiliary verbs, transitive/intransitive and phrasal verbs.  Probably the word fuck began as a verb; although, the etymology of the word has been debated and somewhat unclear as writers, editors, and publishers neglected using the word prior to the advent of the internet.

Main verbs stand alone as in:  Fuck him/her.

The verb tense in the previous sentence is called imperative and expresses a command.  Auxiliary verbs, also called helping verbs, serve as support to the main verb.

My ex-boyfriend just fucking draws all day.

Verbs can be transitive or intransitive.  Transitive Verbs require a direct object in order to make sense to the listener or reader:  Hassan fucks up.  Means nothing without an object such as everything:  Hassan fucks up everything.

Intransitive Verbs do not need direct objects to make them meaningful. For example:  Sarah fucks.  In this case we do not need any clarification as to what Sarah fucks in order to ascertain that she is not chaste.

ADVERBS:

An adverb is a word that modifies an action verb, an adjective or another adverb.

He/she is fucking fucked.

In this case fucked is the noun, which fucking modifies.

Relative adverbs introduce questions and dependent adverbial clauses. They answer the questions fuck when? and fuck where?

Fuck when I had to go get my car fixed…

Again it is important to distinguish between the usage in the previous sentence and when it is used as an interjection.  The way we can tell that fuck is not being used as an interjection depends on a combination of the speed at which the person uses the word and punctuation.  The same sentence punctuated differently would transform fuck into an interjection:  Fuck! When I had to go get my car fixed…  This sentence reads differently and is pronounced differently, because the word fuck functions differently.

CONJUNCTIONS:

There are seven coordinating conjunctions: For fucking, And fucking, nor fucking, but fucking, or fucking, yet fucking, so fucking.

Keisha eats ham sandwiches but fucking Mike prefers tuna.

Without the words but fucking, the sentences would be separated as:  Keisha eats ham sandwiches.  Mike prefers tuna.

In this case fucking could precede Mike as an adjective that describes him, but it does not have to do so.  Always consider the writer or speaker’s intent.  If fucking Mike is not something the speaker would normally use in their expressions but but fucking is a common feature, the word fuck has most certainly been employed by the person to join two sentences and therefore formed and integral part of a conjunction.

Correlative conjunctions also join ideas, but they work in pairs. They are: Both fucking…and fucking, neither…fucking nor, fucking whether…or, either fucking…or, not fucking only…but fucking also. 

PREPOSITIONS:

Prepositions are words that, like conjunctions, connect a noun or pronoun to another word in a sentence. The easiest way to determine whether or not a word is a preposition is with the phrase:

Anywhere a mouse can go…

But more often we compile lists to gain a clearer view of what words function together as prepositions.  Some common prepositions: About, Before, Down, Into, Through, Above, Behind, During, Like, To, Across, Below, Except, Of, Toward, After, Beneath, For, Off, Under, Among, Beside, From, On, Up, Around, Between, In, Over, With, At, By, Instead of, Since, Without, and Fuck.

So, where’s the mouse?

Fuck if I know.

ARTICLES: 

Articles are the, a, an, and fuck.

As you can see the article the is virtually interchangeable with the word fuck:

The face sees its reflection in the mirror.

Fuck face sees its reflection in the mirror.

INTERJECTIONS:

Interjections are words used to express emotional states. They can usually be found in narrative writing, interviews, and in spoken English. They can stand alone. As we’ve previously alluded that would be:

Fucking awesome!

Here's a poem to help you remember them all:

The Nine Parts Fucks of Speech

Three little words fucks you often see,

Are articles- a, an, and the.

A noun's the name of anything

As school, garden, hoop fuck, or swing.

An Fucking adjectives tell the kind of noun-

Great, small, pretty, white, or brown.

Instead of nouns the pronouns stand-

Her head, his face, your arm fuck, my hand.

Verbs tell of something to be done,

To read To fuck, sing, jump, or run.

How things are done fuck the adverbs tell,

As slowly, quickly, ill, fucked up, or well.

Conjunctions join words together,

As in men and fucking women, wind or fucking weather.

The prepositions stand before

A noun, as at or through the the fucking door.

The interjection shows fucking shows surprise,

As ah FUCK! How fucking pretty- Oh FUCK! how wise.

The whole fucks are called fucked nine parts fucks of speech fuck,

Which Fuck reading fucking, writing fucking, speaking fucking teach fuck.

50 Excellent Writing Activities to Cultivate Your Creativity and Craft

by Jesse Young

Continued from last week...If you’re a good writer, you can succeed in any industry, no matter what kind of online degree you have. But even great writers sometimes have trouble organizing their work, polishing up the details, or even picking a cohesive idea to write about. Here are 50 excellent writing exercises to help cultivate your creativity and craft, from brainstorming to beating writer’s block and remembering your motivation.  

Part 5 of 7: Language and Grammar


Choose better words and strengthen sentences with these exercises.

31. A Day Without Modifiers: This writing challenge requires you to write scenes without adjectives or adverbs.
32. Use the dictionary as your prompt: Open up the dictionary and blindly put your finger anywhere on the page. Whatever word you’ve picked out — no matter how weird or complicated it is — write a paragraph about it, not just using it in a sentence. You’ll work on your vocabulary this way too.

Part 6 of 7: Style

Draw readers in with your unique, perfected style after working with these exercises.

33. Describe your audience: Write a list of qualities about your target audience, and then refer to that list to make sure your style will appeal to them and matches your story.
34. Use active voice: Read about the difference between active and passive voice and why active can make your writing stronger.
35. Get the stereotypes out of your system: If you want your entire piece to read like a cliché, avoid stereotypes. You can get them all out of your system on a scratch sheet of paper and then move on to something more original.
36. Think about what you like to read: Think about your favorite authors and genres and why you’re drawn to them.
37. Experiment with other writers’ styles: Then, pick the elements that came most naturally to you and use them in your writing.

next week: Editing and Inspiration

Video: Conjunction Junction

This video speaks for itself with its subtle approach to bring proper English instruction to the eager Saturday morning masses. In the tradition of Fantasia, its visual interpretation of the stunning musical rhapsody clearly foretold the coming of MTV as the premier vehicle of self-expression. It crossed social barriers with its appeal and demonstrated the bond we share by our mother tongue.

Each scene contains a balance of 70's style and composition lost in the passage of time, but remembered now when the nostalgic adults, bored youth, or the desperate educators do a simple search on YouTube.

The best of American English instruction, it is School House Rock's "Conjunction Junction." I ask you to consider in light its artistic grandeur and awesome yet humble and unassuming wisdom, could you answer the timeless question of existence, which it poses however masked in application to one beloved element of grammar ?

Could you answer, "What's your function?"

9 Parts of Speech

by Carrie Bailey

While I was helping my son study for his 8th grade Language Arts class, I came across a dated but relevant poem. Now, I can write a sentence and follow all the normal rules of grammar, but I often forget what they are called.

Three little words you often see,

Are Articles - an, an, and the.

A Noun's the name of anything,

As school, or garden, hoop, or swing.

Adjectives tell the kind of Noun,

As great, small, pretty, white, or brown.

Instead of Nouns the Pronouns stand-

Her head, his face, your arm, my hand.

Verbs tell of something to be done-

To read, count, sing, laugh, jump, or run.

How things are done, the Adverbs tell,

As slowly, quickly, ill, or well.

Conjunctions join the words together

As man and woman, wind or weather.

The Preposition stands before

A noun, as in, or through a door.

The Interjection shows surprise,

As oh! How pretty - ah! How wise.

The whole are called Nine Parts of Speech,

Which reading, writing, speaking teach.

~Dr. Chase 1867

I think it's a pity they never turned this in to a corny 90's style educational rap performed by a low budget cartoon dog in a jean jacket.  Hopefully, this idea's time hasn't passed.

Internet Speak Killed The English Star

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by Morgan Barnhart

I tried making the title a parody of 'Video killed the radio star', but failed. This is a blog expanding on what Peevish Penman Editor, Carrie Bailey said over here.

Anyway, I haz relizd tht intrnt has keeld gramr & spelng. I no gud spelr but I at lest no how to spel, 'you'.

Ok, wow, that sentence took me about 10 minutes to write. Trying to find ways to misspell words does not come easily. That is why I've never understood why people find it easier to write in shorthand rather than just typing out the whole word. Example: 'You' has turned into 'u'. I mean, it's two more letters, come on people!

*Breathes*

I'm not trying to judge, really, I'm not. I spell words incorrectly and make grammar mistakes all the time. But it's usually for a word that I don't use that often and I immediately fix the mistake. It's natural to not know how to spell a few words here and there, nothing wrong with that.

But if you're too lazy to spell 'you' or 'are' when asking, “How are you”...then...get out. Just get out.

Seriously, though, I read an article that basically said internet speak is actually a good thing and helps us evolve. I mean, since Merriam-Webster decided to make a few words from the internet into official words, then internet speak is obviously A-OK, right?

I disagree. While Merriam-Webster may say it's ok, English teachers are getting frustrated. Even though it also says in the article that teachers reprimand students who use internet speak in the classroom, does that really do anything? I mean, really. The teacher can't follow them home and reprimand them whenever they get online.

What really bothered me about this article the most is the ending when it says, "So while your English teachers may want to hold the dividing lines between proper and improper word usage taught, they should just chill (not an accepted use of that word, at least for the moment) because widespread usage eventually overrides accepted grammatical conventions."

He's basically saying to give up on trying to fix the mistakes because in time, we're all going to be saying and typing incorrectly and then it'll be acceptable.

I think it's great that our language evolves, but when it begins to dumb us down, that's where I'm old fashioned and would at least like for us to distinguish when is and is not alright to speak the way of the internet.

Am I alone in this thought process? Please tell me I'm not just a raving fool.