Love in the Time of Self-Publishing

By Rob Hines

Oh, it’s so easy now.

No, not love. That’s never easy, and anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

What’s easy is putting your written work in front of the entire world’s eyeballs in seconds. Before you can say “slander suit,” you can publish to your blog, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and dozens of other social media sites. That means everyone you know, everyone THEY know, and millions of people you don’t know can read your innermost secrets.

Scary, huh?

Add the complication of trying to express those innermost secrets while not letting your loved ones know they’re the subject of your work, and this literary instant-gratification can be downright terrifying.

How many times have you written something you think is brilliant, possibly the greatest story ever in the history of stories, but instantly close the file and drag it into your “Not Ready” folder because “What if my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/mother/father/second cousin twice removed reads this?  They’ll know it’s about them!”

Been there, archived that.

So what is a writer to do?

Oh, you actually want some answers? Fine, let’s see what I can come up with.

1.       Be Fearless

Don’t worry, I’m not just preaching “truth in art” and telling you to be absolutely transparent in your writing. Once you’re ridiculously rich and can afford to buy friends, you can try this, but I still wouldn't recommend it.

However, I don’t believe in simply avoiding the opportunity to write about your real-life issues. Previously on PPM, you may have read a fantastic article about putting your qualms and quandaries to work for you, and I totally endorse this concept. You can take a much deeper and more engaging approach when writing about your own problems, so don’t miss the opportunity to add this extra dynamic of honesty to your work. Just...

2.       Be Smart

Come on, you’re an f-ing writer! You make up stories for a living, so find a way to talk about real stuff in a creative--and covert--way. Have a horrible boss and need to vent through your story? Go ahead and give the antagonist some of his or her qualities, but be smart enough not to use his or her real name or any variation of it. If your horrible boss is Andy, you’re not fooling him or your nosy co-workers by calling your villain Randy.

The same goes for true-life situations. If you’re stressed about a holiday argument you had with the family, you may not want to write a scathing short about a familial flare-up over Christmas dinner. Switch it up. Write a medieval farce about a battle between villagers that takes place during a solar eclipse.

As long as you creatively disguise the actual inspirations for the people and events in your work, you can still have the cathartic release that makes writing so thrilling.

3.       Be Careful

No one says you have to send everything you write to everyone you know, and if you’re truly worried about certain people seeing what you've written, pick your placement carefully. You don’t have to link a liberal-leaning piece to Facebook if your conservative “friends” would take issue with it, and vice versa. Sure, you should be proud of everything you do, and we all have freedom of speech, but we’re not free of the social consequences of what we write.

That brings me to the most important point of this piece.

4.       Be Honest

To paraphrase a great poet of the 90’s “If they were angry, you don’t need them, because they’re not good friends.”

Will Smith, you truly are the Prince of Freshness.

As a writer, you’ll ruffle some feathers. You’ll write something that pisses somebody off, even if you didn't mean to. That’s part of the job. You just have to be able to stand behind what you write and let your loved ones decide if they can handle that.

Like I said, love’s not easy, and when we decided to take the writer’s path, we added about ten levels of difficulty. The question is whether the joy of sharing a fulfilled life with our close friends and family is worth the pain we’ll inevitably endure along the way.

I think it is.

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Why You Should Embrace Writer's Block

by Jody Aberdeen

Peevish Nation, I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you: we're living in the Age of Paradoxical Solutions.

Y'all know what I'm talking about: those bumper sticker nuggets, the pretty pictures of flowers, landscapes, and sunsets that have nothing to do with the words written on them, often in Comic Sans Serif or, if the author is completely shameless, Times New Roman in Bold face. 

And what do the quotes say? Things like "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" (props to Mr. Palahniuk for that one) and "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly" (word to Bobby Kennedy....hmmm, I actually love that one).   You get the idea.  They don't seem to make sense, but they also do, if that makes any sense? Which it does, even if it doesn't. Right?

Before I get too scrambled, I'll get to the point: the best way to ignore Writer's Block?  Embrace it.  With open arms. That's the first step to restoring the flow of words.

I know, I'm advocating carnal sin here for many of you, but the way I see it, the angels have already stacked the deck in favor of productivity and hard work, and at heart, I'm lazy and like to nap in the afternoon rather than do anything productive.

Talent, Skill, and Paradigms

Writers are born with the talent to see stories and images, to think in pictures and then translate those images into words. Writers are developed through proper schooling in the technical skills of language.  Talent and skill are distinct from each other: you can teach anyone proper spelling and grammar, but you can't help someone who isn't born with the talent to see stories in pictures. It's like trying to change a baby's skin or eye color after he or she is already born.

Midway between God-given talent and malleable skill sets lies a third dimension: the paradigm.  I'm borrowing the term from the performance coaching work I'm doing with Bob Proctor's Life Success Corporate school of thought that I've been blogging about chez moi for the past few weeks.  The paradigm is a set of ideas and habits that each person has, and this set is at once influenced by genetics and upbringing and by conscious thinking.  And one major paradigm that nearly all writers inherit is this idea of Writer's Block

That writers sometimes run out of words is a reality, plain and simple.  That sometimes writers can and do go without a flow of inspiration for days, months, even years is historical and present-day fact.  Hell, if you're reading this right now, you're probably quote-unquote "blocked" and spending your time on Peevish Penman when you should be getting back to that novel you've been workin' on.....actually, no, wait, stick around a while, we love you.  

I also don't want Carrie sending hired goons after me for dropping the site traffic (call it caffeine rage, the Wrath of Juan Valdez, or what have you).

So if it's a real thing and not a figment of our imagination, how does embracing Writer's Block clear it? Simple: because it's still a concept, a name, that someone somewhere in the past invented to describe their experience of losing the flow of words.  That person coined the term, and the rest of us started minting that denomination in our minds, our scribbles, and our drunk/caffeinated/stoned conversations with others in the wordslinging trade.

What we should have done was call "Writer's Block" by a different name.  Anything else, as long as it wasn't an image of something stopping us.

Back to paradigms.  We're trained in two things: we experience "blockage", and that we're supposed to hate it.  Because of that, whenever we get "blockage," we stop loving what we do and start hating it. The idea that this is how it's supposed to be is so widespread, we get virtually 100% social reinforcement from our friends and family who think the same way about the loss of flow, even if they themselves aren't writers.

It's in our nature to avoid unpleasantness, so even when we have tight deadlines, we find ways to avoid sitting down at the desk. We go for walks, we spend time with family, we go drinking, we exercise, we watch TV or read: anything to avoid doing that thing that we're blocked on, and of course, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Trouble is, even throughout this deliberate hedonism, we feel guilty because we're not writing, which further adds to the "blockage!".  It's easy to see why so many writers enter this kind of Zeno's Paradox of never getting to the end of a project: if it's not this, it's something else.

Shake Hands With The Devil

"So, O Eminent One," you may be asking, "how does one restore the flow of words?"  My preferred solution is in three parts.

First, embrace the Writer's Block. Seriously, try it. Open up your arms, nuzzle the blockage against your bosom. 

Guess what? You can't. Why? Because there's nothing there. Writer's Block doesn't physically exist. It's an idea, and ideas can be changed.

(Ten points to Gryffyndor if you actually opened your arms)

The loss of flow, however, is indeed a reality.  How do you get it back?  Well, obviously something threw off your groove.  Review your work and see if you lost a thread somewhere.  If the answer isn't in your work, and nothing's flowing again by the time you finish your review, that's when you get up and go do something else.  And when you do go to do something else, I want you to feel okay with it. 

You might say, "What if I'm on a tight deadline?  What if they need it in an hour?"  I think if that's the case, you'll find a way.  Look back on all those last minute "blockages" and I guarantee you'll find, more often than not, that you succeeded under pressure.  Really, that's what it takes: either high pressure to just crank out anything and restore the flow by force, or just occupying your body and mind for a while elsewhere so that fallow fields in your mind can grow again. 

Feeling guilty for not writing is absolutely unnecessary: it's what you love, but as Peter Cetera says, even the truest lovers need a break from each other every now and then.  (Yes, I just mined 1982's American Top 40 List for material. What of it?)

Re-think your conception of the loss of flow as being "Writer's Block" using a metaphor that empowers you to be able to change it: you need to refuel your inspiration, it's a break in the rain, leaving a field fallow, needing a change your batteries, whatever works.  Then all you have to do is chill.  Go to the gym. Spend time with your family. Go drinking with your friends. Enjoy life!

So yes, Peevish Nation, that's how you show Writer's Block what's what in the most godlike fashion that we godlike creatures can muster: by denying its ability to exist as a concept. 

You're welcome!

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Different Approaches to Dreams in Writing

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Remember the last dream you had that was so stirring you had to tell everyone about it?

Dreams can be used for creative solutions to writing. The first time I was introduced to this idea I was at an undergraduate at a philosophy conference in Idaho and had just been told to go home and find someone to marry. An old professor from a visiting school was trying to cheer me up, he leaned over and told me that he kept a pad of paper by his bed and used it to solve all his creative problems in writing.

Method #1: Before you go to sleep focus on your work-in-progress. Explore the problem you need solved thoroughly as you drift off to dreamland. At any point during the night you get the answer and are awake, don’t trust yourself to remember it. Write it down.

Dreams are also full of symbolism. I expand certain scenes I’m writing with elements from a dream dictionary.

Doesn’t reading an excellent book almost feel as though you’re dreaming it? The vivid images of colors like rusted copper and young blades of grass or the outline of a step-pyramid all have associated meanings for dream interpreters. Filling a setting with symbols can add a depth beyond sensory description.

Method #2: Get a dream dictionary and browse the meanings for useful symbols to add to characters, scenes and locations. Search the dictionary for the meanings of elements in the crucial scenes of your work-in-progress to identify elements whose messages are contradictory.

Dream dictionaries may not all agree on the meanings of specific symbols, but symbols in dreams were explored early in the history of psychology by Carl Jung. He wrote Man and His Symbols in 1968.

Author P. J. Kaiser has offered another method on her site Inspired by Real Life.

Method #3: To summarize, she suggests recording a dream and then re-visiting it in the future to use for writing inspiration.

The Dreamers by Albert Moore

Dreams are unquestionably accessing the most creative part of our minds. I’ve been using dreamtime to fight writer’s block by falling asleep picturing every element of my work-in-progress. As I fall asleep, I find myself dreaming what naturally must come next in the story and discovering that my dreams can develop interesting solutions that re-inspire me.

Hard Times: Great Writing

by Carrie Bailey

I’m often asked, “Why call your site Peevish Penman? You aren’t peevish at all.”

Oh, but they are wrong. Minor injustices cause me endless irritation. By minor, I mean events that devastate only me and by irritation I’m talking about intense and unbearable suffering. It’s inspiration. But you won’t find this muse’s pamphlets and cheap goods sitting around my apartment collecting dust just because he’s been knocking down my door day and night. Hard times fuel my passion for writing.  

As a testament to the undeniable and completely unfair truth that events we didn’t want to happen to us often prompt some of our best writing, I’ve complied a list of the most agonizing lessons I’ve learned along the way.

• Emotions are like the weather. One day you’ll be confident about your writing and the next, you’ll be inundated with doubt. Be prepared to weather the storms.

• The truth can hurt. Writing is a craft that requires dedication and development. Admit your mistakes and keep learning.

• It’s okay to make mistakes. That’s why writers invented editing.

• For every great undertaking, there is an equal and opposite resistance to it. People who discourage you are just trying to save you the burden of success.  

• Bullies can be found everywhere. All the best stories have them, because they really are lurking around every corner waiting to inspire your story’s antagonists.

• If you have great ideas, someone will probably try to steal them. This is the easiest way to identify the best ones.  

• You can’t help everyone. Lost causes make great antagonists, but terrible writing partners.

 …but it’s not all hard times, is it? So, here’s a list of inspiring lessons from the other muse, the more welcome one who stops by to chat like an old friend visiting town for the day…

• Inspiration is everywhere. If even the hard times can inspire a writer, then motivation may never be lacking. The writing life is one filled with aspirations.

• There’s always something to be grateful for. Maybe it’s a recent compliment or a publication or a plot bunny hopping into view. Either way the writing life is full of achievements both big and small.

• Your effort will be recognized. Many people admire writers, because they’re brave talented people who work hard.

• You write your own story. It’s an empowering truth to recognize that not only do you control your own destiny, but you write your own stories, too.  

• Words have value. At first it may be hard to believe people will pay you to do something you love, like writing, until the day it actually happens. This day does come.

• Words have power. And you’re a writer, which means you’re a force to be reckoned with. One story can change a person’s life.

And finally…

• Words have meaning. A life full of words both read and written is a life filled with meaning and that’s something that can carry a writer through even the hardest times.  

Carrie Bailey is the editor of Peevish Penman and The Handbook of the Writer Secret Society, which is a humorous anthology written about crucial lessons writers learned during development of their careers. Peevish Penman is currently accepting both queries and submissions for the second edition.

What a Great Idea!

by Linda Yezak

I get my book ideas from some of the craziest places. One rainy day in February, I opened the door for Belle, my oldest cat. She rubbed against my legs, purring her thank you to me and getting me wet. Stooping down to rub her ears, I told her, "I have better things to do than to pet wet cats."

That would make a great title, I thought, and Petting Wet Cats was born. And died soon after. The mystery novel is sitting idle on a disc waiting for me to pick it up again and bring it to life. I will, someday.

But just the thought gave me an idea. As I wrote in the "Birth of Ride" tab, the idea for Give the Lady a Ride came from television shows. The Cat Lady of Forest Lawn was the result of a prayer after Ride was complete and I was at a loss as to what to do with my free time.

"What do I do now, Lord?"

WRITE ABOUT AN ECCENTRIC CAT LADY.

I swear, I heard Him plain as day.

Ideas can come from anywhere, at any time. That's why it's wise to keep pen and paper handy wherever you are. Many writing how-to books I've read suggest sitting in a restaurant and eavesdropping on the surrounding tables. Not a bad suggestion. My husband and I make up stories about people in restaurants, or driving down the road, or grocery shopping. We even came up with stories from a recent fishing trip. Worthless, both of them. But you never know!

One of the benefits of having pen and paper handy wherever you go is the practice you can get. Just write. What does the place smell like? look like? feel like? You can write flowing prose on those questions alone, but to really challenge yourself, condense the experience into a few powerful words. Describe the people you see, then challenge yourself again. Is that sweet lady with the blue hair, road-map face and fading green eyes really a kindly grandmother? Or is she the reigning monarch from distant country with an iron fist and steel will? Is the tattooed biker with the gold tooth really a hoodlum? Or does he ride for the Bikers for Jesus and deliver groceries to the underprivledged? It's fun to assign different scenerios to different people.

So, let's play:

The clatter of forks on plates, spoons in coffee mugs, came to an abrupt halt when the biker darkened the diner's plate glass door. He stood for a moment, mirrored shades sheltering his eyes from scrutiny, and crossed his arms over his massive chest. His black t-shirt stretched over broad shoulders, clung tight to his bulky midsection. Every inch of exposed skin bore a dark tattoo. A gold loop earring glinted at his left lobe. Within a moment, he turned his bandana'd head and nodded at the old woman in the corner.

The woman's pale green eyes darted around the room from behind her tortoiseshell spectacles. Her entrance, too, had captured attention, bringing murmers of speculation from those enjoying their breakfast. She was a stranger to the regulars of the place. Her gray linen suit, the emerald at her throat -- what was a woman like her doing in a place like this? But a bellowed call of "Order up!" from the kitchen had broken the spell and she had melted into the corner, no longer the main attraction.

Tension snapped and sizzled like the bacon frying in the kitchen as the biker strode to her table. She held her coffee cup suspended inches from her mouth as she watched his approach. The cup didn't tremble in her wrinkled hand, her aged eyes showed no fear; instead, she lifted her head slightly, a smile teasing at her thin lips.

A soft buzz filled the diner as the patrons whispered to each other. "Who is he?" "What will he do?" "Should we call the police?" But a hush fell from wall to wall as the biker took off his sunglasses and knelt like a knight before the woman.

"My Queen," he said, his deep voice full of admiration and humility.

The woman extended a withered hand for him to kiss. "Hello, Joe. Still preaching at the corner church?"

So, what should we name our piece? Harley Queen? Or Hog Preacher? And where do the two go from here?