Confessions of a Premise Writer

by Rob Hines

That’s me. I’m a Premise Writer.

It sounds like a real job, doesn't it? Premise Writer. It almost sounds like you could make money doing that.

Nope. Not even remotely.

Trust me. Being broke does NOT look this good.

Premise writing is what I've been doing since I decided to start writing fiction, and I've only recently come to grips with this label. It’s a sickness, kind of like rabies, I think. You can cure it, but it takes some gnarly treatment and you should probably avoid people for a month or so.

Are you a premise writer? Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have a billion ideas written in piles of spiral notebooks and/or an incredibly cluttered note-taking app on your phone?
2. Have you written any more than about a page or two of any one idea?
3. Do you waste time at work organizing your ideas in fun Google Drive folders instead of actually turning them into thought-out stories?
4. When you do write a story, do you tend to jump right to the “million dollar idea” and linger there for a while before jumping right to the end?
5. Have you had a story about a problem gambler who acquires a golden touch rejected because an editor feels “it all comes too easily” meaning the premise happens with no real conflict or consequences?

Okay, that last one is pretty much exclusive to me, but if you feel any sympathy pains for the other four, you may be a Premise Writer too. Hope is not lost, though. You and I can break from a fate of being buried in an avalanche of hoarded notebooks full of neglected concepts. The key is (cue dramatic music) OUTLINING!

Yep, there they go. The artists are leaving now. The ones who want their writing to be an expression of their inner beings have given up on me.

Okay, the rest of you? You’re professional writers. You’re the ones who know you have to plan a project to achieve consistent results (read: get paid to write)

I’m not dissing anyone who doesn't plan their writing. Hell, until about a week or two ago, I WAS one of those people. At least, I was that way in my fiction writing. My revelation came when I realized that I’m more than just a fiction writer. I’m a corporate writer too. I write copy for advertising, corporate blog articles, web copy, and even a corporate comic book! And you wanna hear a secret? I plan each of those projects before I write them. Why? Because I like to eat horrible food and my paycheck allows me to continue buying said horrible food. If I'm that committed to horrible food, why shouldn't I be just as committed to fulfilling my writing dream?

My cubicle-mate at the above-referenced day job is also a writer and he has published two non-fiction books (if you’re a baseball fan, you can buy one of them here). He’s a relentless planner when he writes and I guess I thought there were different rules for non-fiction. There aren't. Well, except for the whole factual thing.

No matter what you write, the best way to make writing more efficient and less torturous is to effectively outline your plot and your characters. I’m not talking about the high school research paper method with Roman numerals and A’s and B’s and all that. All I’m suggesting is you know what’s going to happen from start to finish as well as the major events in between. It may be a bulleted list. It may be a detailed list of acts and scenes. It may even be a mind map that starts with a central theme and bursts in all different directions. The key is putting your whole story on the page before you try to write 100,000 words around it.

I’m not saying it’s for everyone. I know many great writers just sit and write. Good for them. I’m a Premise Writer. If I do that, I will do a fantastic job of writing down a plot with terribly boring characters and little to no exposition or resolution. In other words, I will suck.

So now I’m outlining. I’m giving myself a chance to hear the story from start to finish and understand my characters so I have a blueprint to guide my actual writing. I’m giving myself a chance to not suck.

Words to live (and write) by

Well, at least not suck as much.

Tweet

Habits are for nuns and other people

Hoo boy. I might not have the best advice regarding this topic. I guess that's okay, since Gayle already talked about her own difficulty with developing good habits. I don't have a pretty pink dress to spice up my post but all things considered, that's probably best for all concerned.

Moving on.

For starters, almost all of my habits are bad, and that doesn't just apply to writing. But since that's what we're here to talk about, as opposed to your judgment of me and my slovenly lifestyle and poor decision-making skills, I'll stick to that.

I don't have any writer habits and I think that's good. At least for me or somebody similarly wired. Believe me, I've read all the books that talk about establishing a comfortable environment and a consistent routine and I'm sure there's merit to that approach. For one, it instills discipline and there's certainly a benefit to that. I'm not discounting that advice. If it works for you, great. By all means, continue down that path and produce great works!

My problem is I think if I had to develop habits in order to write, I would be doomed to fail. See, my life is influenced to a great degree by an intricate network of part-time employment which prohibits me from making a lot of plans and committing to established routines. I work in the entertainment business and don't have one full-time job, I have several part-time and/or one-off gigs. I work on nights and weekends (some times), I answer my phone at all hours, I eat when I find food, I sleep when I can lay down and I write when I can get my hands on a keyboard or notebook. That sounds worse than it is; I'm comfortable with it and function just fine (although it does make maintaining personal relationships something of a challenge, but that's material for another web site). It just means that it's virtually impossible for me to say that I will sit down every day between 7:00 and 8:30 in the morning with a cup of hot coffee (Hello, Carrie!), no distractions and bang out X number of pages every day. I'm sure there are plenty of people in relatable situations. Maybe they have kids or some other factor that prohibits developing habits and following a routine. My point is, it would be very easy for people like us to throw up our hands and say, "oh well, I guess I just can't write today or almost any day ever", having a handy excuse to be defeated by circumstances we already know are beyond our control.

The alternative is to abandon the idea of developing habits in favor of doing the work. It means focusing on results instead of process. Worry more about getting it done rather than figuring how you're going to carve out the time and establish the environment necessary to sit down and get it done.

Now that I look at the words on the screen, I guess that actually qualifies as developing a habit.

Huh. Shows what I know.

By Clark Brooks

Tweet

Now there's a question...

Tweet
By Gayle Francis Moffet

How do you form a writing habit? That's the question we're trying to answer here on PPM this month. We're also trying to figure out how you keep a writing habit going and what tips or tricks might work best to help someone form a writing habit.

Folks, I gotta tell you the truth: I don't freaking know. I have spent the last three weeks trying to keep a list of my writing habits, and it goes something like this:

1. Get idea.
2. Write three paragraphs.
3. Completely forget about idea for a week while I crochet something.
4. Eat some cheese.
5. Two weeks later, write twenty pages of that thing.
6. Get distracted by comic books and movies.
7. Go get a drink with friends.
8. Eat some more cheese.
9. A month later, write ten pages.
10. Forget idea again.
11. Get new idea.
12. Write story while waiting for clothes to come out of the washer.
13. Edit story while clothes are in the dryer.
14. Get story published.
15. Wonder how the hell that happened.
16. Discover uneaten cheese in the back of the fridge. 

And it's lather, rinse, repeat unto infinity.

I've tried to take on all those habits that you get told time and again will make you a more reliable writer. I have tried to write every day, but there are days I open every document in my folder, and nothing feels worth working on. Not because it's bad, but because I'm just not there mentally for it.

I've tried to write in small bits of time I can find, and that one's proved to be pretty useful. I still don't write every day, but I'm in the habit now of writing during my short breaks at work, so I'm seeing output.

But here's the thing: Even with an uneven schedule, I don't feel like I'm missing the chance to do something more with my writing. I'm doing exactly what I want with my writing, and while I occasionally get frustrated at my lack of output, what I do put out is work I'm proud of and pleased to have my name on. And it's that pleasure that pushes me to write more. I like what I write, and liking it makes me want to write more of it, but sometimes that more comes in a single push over a week, and sometimes it comes in a series of short bursts over months. Every attempt to regulate it has led me to hate the whole process until I just let my brain do what it does on the schedule it prefers.

I'm sure the rest of the crew is going to turn out some great advice this month, but all I can say is, if you're not feeling it, don't feel bad about doing something else. That cheese isn't going to eat itself, and this dress sure as hell didn't come out of the ether:

Though I hope it gives someone

the vapors.

Enjoy yourself, find your own rhythm, and you're likely to be way more productive than you ever thought possible. 

Gayle Francis Moffet writes, but she doesn't do it on a schedule that looks like it's built from good habits. She keeps a writing tumblr at whatthehellamiwriting.tumblr.com, and that's about the shape of it this month.

Building Your Reader Army

By Rob Hines

I'm yet to be published, and I have yet to finish a book so feel free to judge my opinions accordingly. However, (and this is a fairly big However) I have spent a couple dozen years or so studying consumer habits in my sales, media and marketing lives, and I'm a heavy media consumer myself. Okay, disclaimer done.

Me: Circa 1987

Even though I'm inexperienced on the publishing side of the media community, I have a TON of experience working with consumers and I'm willing to bet that experience is going to help my book sales.

You know, once I actually have something to sell.

Who's Your Community?

Do you talk to writers or readers? Who's more likely to read (and buy) your books? Writers are pretty busy, you know, writing. Sure, they read a little to keep their skills sharp, but if you want to find people that buy books, you want to find readers.

When you first joined social media to build your writing career--

(You are on social media, right? Facebook, Twitter, etc.? If not, go sign up for Twitter at least. It's simple. I'll wait. So how about that crazy weather, huh? Are you watching the Stanley Cup? That triple overtime game was wild! I sure hope the Hawks can pull it out, but that Boston defense is wicked.)

Oh, you're back. It was easy, right? Now that everyone's getting social, let me give you a tip to think about when interacting with other people on social media. Following writers is great for learning. Following READERS is best for EARNING. 

Pretty catchy, eh?

When I first decided "I'm going to be a writer" a few years back, I immediately ran to Twitter and started following writers. It was fun. I actually had writers following me back, including Sideways author and frequent follow-backer Rex Pickett, so that was a thrill. These experienced authors were sharing knowledge, giving tips, and most importantly, proving that writers are everyday people too. In fact, following writers is what connected me with Peevish Penman so it was most definitely a strong strategy.

But times they will be a changin'. When that first book hits shelves and/or Kindles, I need to expand my community so I'm not just talking to writers all day. I need to start talking to readers. I need to find those Tweeters and Facebookers who list reading as their number one pastime. These are the people that will seek me out and at the very least read my Kindle samples to decide if they should plunk down some dough and help put food on my kid's plate. They're readers. That's what they do.

Not big on social media? Then hit the streets! Go places where readers are. Jody already gave us a great strategy for book-signings, but there are other places readers gather. Talk to your local librarian and ask about special events where you might be able to mingle with local readers. Find trade shows and festivals where your book may be well-received and get a booth if not too cost-prohibitive. That's why I prefer social media, because it's FREE, but if you want a more personal approach, feel free to open up the wallet and get your meet-and-greet on.

Shifting your focus to readers is step one. Now let's take a deeper dive.

Find Your People!

Once you've found readers, you have to find YOUR readers. This part might get tricky, especially if you entered this career expecting to write books for the entire world. Time to admit an uncomfortable truth. Not everyone is going to dig your work. At least, not right away. I'll talk more about shifting customer bases later but for now, you just need to determine YOUR people. 

If you're writing general fiction, this may not be that easy, but if you're doing genre-specific stuff, there are any number of book clubs, internet forums, facebook groups, etc. that would be ecstatic to have an actual author of the genre they love interact with them. Use these groups to create connections and build a rabid reader base. They'll tell similar-thinking friends and you will start to grow your army.

This can happen for non-genre writing too, but the process seems to be much more hit-and-miss. One person who loves your work won't necessarily have friends and family who will be so readily convertible. It just means you'll have to talk to more people to find your groove, but it's out there somewhere.

Welcome Others

Braaaaaaaaains!

Building your army can be tough, and to make it even tougher, readers are constantly evolving. Ten years ago, nobody was reading zombie books except for a small devoted fan base. Now, everybody is crazy about zombies. 

Unfortunately, the authors who are really making money on zombie fiction began writing it before it really took off, and outright luck often comes into play when finding these new fans, but this is a good thing. It means there's always a chance the the stuff you love to write (and probably what you do best) is going to catch on with the general public and make your books extremely profitable. Don't ever underestimate the chances of making new fans. It can happen in an instant.

But this is not how you should measure your success. These happenstance tag-alongs will not be a given so don't start mansion shopping, but if it happens to you, just enjoy the ride because it appears to be a fun one.

Marketing your work (and yourself) can, and should, be an enjoyable experience. All you need is a solid strategy, a little persistence (read: a crapload of persistence), and an undying love for what you do. You're a writer. They're your readers. Now go find them!

Tweet

"Poltergeist" and Online (Book) Reviews

By Molly Field

Note: I wrote this post Sunday night, when all was mostly well and Boston was preparing for its marathon. I considered pulling this post entirely in light of the tragedy, but I didn't. I didn't edit it, I didn't change it a bit. Part of me wants to remember what Sunday was like before Monday became horrible. My heart goes out to Boston and all who are affected by it near and far. 

Maybe I'll change my mind in a year or two, but I believe 5-stars are the new 3-stars. Sort of like how 40 is the new 30 25.

When I first started this blogging-to-be-a-writer gig, I was dewy and not unlike Carole-Anne when she fell through the ceiling in "Poltergiest," the first time, all lush and covered in strawberry preserves and completely unaware for what was coming my way or how the hell I'd just gotten there.

I mean, look at her... I'll wait.

image: (c) MGM Studios

I know, right? JoBeth Williams too; all slimy and ready to be smeared into a sandwich. Ready to be devoured by the Internets and judged and critiqued and not at all ready for the intensity of the drive to compete and self-promote and cross-promote and sell and promote ... myself. Something that I wasn't even charging anyone to enjoy or debase.

Then came along the Facebook blog/fan page; a so-called Must Have. It has done nothing but confuse me. Then I got to know other bloggers and I built alliances with people I didn't really "know" and became just more confused:

image: (c) MGM Studios

How'd they get there like that? How'd I get there like that? All I did was open a Facebook account in 2008 and then started a blog for grins and giggles only to end up BEGGING for Likes of a fan page that sucked more of my life away.

How'd I get from someone who just wanted to write about my observations from my cheap seats to hone my writerly skills to a gut-wrenching search for relevance? How?

Here's how: Comments. The comments felt like a kissing cousin of reviews which are only realized through constant self-promotion. I have a modest minuscule blog with a lovely following that I am grateful to have. I have no ambitions of unseating The Bloggess or anyone else, but as humans, we are all looking for favorable consideration. And that universal, human need for "favorable consideration" can eventually resemble biased and loaded boardroom backscratching book reviews.

really??

image (c) www.fourthgradenothing.com

The yearning for unbiased comments and authentic traffic (not China-based bots selling counterfeit Louis Vuitton bags) and the tiresome skulduggery (promoting, sharing, linking, tweeting) behavior has put into harsh relief an ugly fear: maybe objective reviews don't exist.

My thoughts are my own; my craft is writing, but despite all of this, I have been pulled into a direction which makes me uneasy and brings me back to feeling like strawberry preserves -covered Carole-Anne: confused. Social media has availed me to witnessing the unfortunate phenomenon of outright requests for favorable reviews of self-published books. I've heard tell of authors ranting over objective less-than 5-star reviews. I get where that comes from, because books are like our babies, but not every baby places first in the toddler pageant, and some judges won't be bribed.

I don't at all like being pulled in that direction. It feels forced.

image (c) MGM Studios

Neither does Carole-Anne. This was just before her second trip to the afterlife, this time through a giant flaming hole in the wall. 

My take on any book review is this: it has to be truly amazing for me to give 5 stars; we're talking Faulkner or (see, it's all subjective) say, The Bell Jar, which I read in one night and loved with my teeth; or as compelling as any previous NYTBSA (New York Times Best Selling Author) and even then, eeeeeeven then, you're never guaranteed of its quality, says my publishing rep.  I love Nick Sparks, but do I give him 5 stars? I give him 4; he doesn't make me swoon. Maybe I'm a Classic-ist. Nope. I'm just a good writer-ist; I want someone who will tactfully push the envelope.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't know who to trust anymore without Oprah's Book Club. Even the almighty Oprah got burned with James Frey's A Million Little Pieces -- that was just a simple matter of genre, he should have never marketed that book as nonfiction autobiography. Just do what everyone else is doing: "creative nonfiction," but I digress.

I do read reviews now when I go to Amazon for a book, but I didn't used to. I've become a skeptic: I also check the dates for most of the 5-star reviews and am grossed out. Say there's 35 5-star brand-new reviews. Of those 35, 27 are written within three days of release, and some of them are reciprocal. Some are completely over the top IN ALL CAPS I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BOOK!

Then I like to see what the lower reviews have to say. Sometimes it's totally subjective, "I didn't like the font," or "Not all southerners say y'all." Or "I don't like romance novels, and so I shouldn't have bought this one, but my best friend's cousin wrote it..." Others are really intense: "Georgia bullfrogs don't make calls like that and they definitely don't during the daytime, at least where I live; also, you can't catch a 6-lb rainbow trout in that lake, the limit is 5.5-lbs!!! This author clearly doesn't know what he's talking about," or those reviews written by people with the moniker: "I Will Waste You." Some lower reviews say what I look for: formatting's a mess, dialogue didn't synch up or transitions were weak or nonexistent.  

The proliferation of self-published eBooks bothers me: the quality control is weak. They're like Fan Pages: there are a ton of them and quantity doesn't at all correlate with quality. When it comes to ebooks, quality of the actual product (editing, formatting, etc.) matters to me so much because it's a massive distraction when it stinks. I have stopped reading books when the formatting is wonky or "it's" or "they're" or their ilk are consistently and incorrectly used and/or I get tripped up in the formatting. Don't make me edit this... I was asked once by an eFriend to read an eBook already released, and within the first 11 pages, I experienced about 30 errors and then I started to keep track. I stopped at page 21 when I hit 150 simple errors, including tense and plurality and possession disagreements, bad punctuation, broken sentences, homophones, weird formatting and direct object confusion. I gave up.

Do we have to go through 3rd grade grammar again? YES. I gave those books: 2 stars just for making me wade through their garbage; I felt like this:

image (c) MGM Studios

I couldn't believe I was having to tolerate it. But I will always give more than one star because writing a book is hard. I give mostly 3-star to 4-star reviews if I give one at all.

I wish to give or receive a 5-star review if the book truly moved readers, or if we missed the characters when it ended. I've actually said, "NO!" when a book ended (Kate Chopin's The Awakening). If I learned something about myself, if I highlighted amazing prose or use of language, then I will give it 5-stars. If the artwork captivates me, then I will give it high marks. If it is: mostly flawless and gripping, I will give it 5-stars.

Maybe that's why I'll never publish a book: because I can't play the game and I don't want to waste your time. I'm in this gig to get better at it. I think Anita Diamant hit it so far out of the park with The Red Tent, her stunning debut, that she hasn't replicated it since. "She peaked early," said a good friend of mine. I've become so paranoid about loaded reviews that I'll read reviews in newspapers and then read what people say online before buying.

Last week, I learned that Amazon bought Goodreads. Oh. Dear. Now what? Is this the end of the fair review and awesome reader community? I mean, bully for the Goodreads founders, but many people, including this writer for Salon beg to differ. I can't say I'm surprised. I feel like Goodreads just couldn't resist this:

image (c) MGM Studios

So are they still out there? Do fair, unbiased, unforced reviews exist anymore? What do you think? Do you feel like JoBeth Williams with that skeleton at times?



 Tweet

Spring Clean Those Files

Tweet

By Sayurta

Spring is just around the corner, although you might not think it to look at the weather, and it's a traditional time of cleaning around the home. I've read a lot of writing blogs over the years, and many of them advocate clearing your writing desk as part of your spring cleaning routine - it has the benefit of a) making projects, research and other bits and bobs easier to find and b) helps minimise distractions. I must admit, I don't have a set space for writing, since I write at work on my lunch break, in various places around Castle Sedgwick, and even sitting on the train. Without a set space, I have nothing to spring clean...or do I?

There is absolutely nothing stopping any writer from applying the idea of spring cleaning to their work instead of their work space. I'm at that stage where the coming spring is making me champ at the bit to start working on new projects, but I can't help feeling like that will be counter productive. All I'll end up with is yet more works in progress and no actual finished work. So my plan for spring cleaning is deceptively simple - finish my outstanding work.

By Jonathan Joseph Bondhus

I've got a raft of short stories that I have yet to finish, not to mention a novella that needs a final chapter, and a finished novella that needs another round of edits before it goes to my editor. It's always a good idea to let work marinade between writing a story and beginning edits - I edit much faster than I write, and as I'd love to get some new stories out for submission, I have no option but to actually write them in order to get onto editing them. Writers are always counselled to keep producing content but if I don't finish it, how can I get that content out there?

You might be wondering how finishing my outstanding work can be considered as spring cleaning, and it's quite simple - I like to keep all of my works in progress in one folder, while I have separate folders for finished projects. If my WiP folder is full of half finished files, then after a while I forget what most of the files are even for. If I go back to those stories or novels, there's a good chance I might forget how I was planning to end them. If that happens, that's essentially a wasted idea. And I hate waste.

So by the end of my spring cleaning period, I'm hoping to have a lot of WiP files moved to individual project folders, and a good defragment should have my laptop running a lot faster than usual - which should get me writing more!

Images from Wikimedia Commons.

Are You Ready or Not? New Beginnings

By Molly Field

As a writer, nothing brings you greater satisfaction than penning that crisp sentence, flowing with the prose you not only create yourself, but with excellent writing offered by other authors.

Because we fancy ourselves a complex species, the opposite side of the same coin proposes that as a writer, nothing brings you greater senses of defeat and challenge than the words of other authors.

Spring is coming. The cherry blossoms on our neighborhood trees are pinking and peeking; the cardinals and robins are chatty, looking for wives. The sun is shining a little stronger and a little brighter every day. Spring, brings Macy's white sales and thoughts of purging, spring cleaning, new beginnings. I believe that many "New Year's Resolutions" should really be made on the first day of spring because in the winter, it's still too cold (at least where I live) to begin training for a marathon outside. (Yes, I am aware that not all NYRs focus on fitness.)

So for this month, we are encouraged to talk to you about new beginnings, fresh starts... This is a challenge for me because I am in the throes of a mental reorganization myself. But no time like the present, eh?

I didn't know what I was going to write about today. I get my prompt from our fearless leader, and sometimes I gnaw on a bone and other times I just bang one out. This time, I did a little of both. 

Without boring you to tears, I gave up Facebook for Lent. I'm not terrifically Catholic, but the opportunity was so well-timed and I wanted an out anyway, that I couldn't resist. It had all become too much for me.

My intention was to spend that time working on my book's drafts and edit it, which I have done, but not with the attention I paid to my Facebook "career." So clearly, I've got some work to do. The thing is though, that yesterday, my cousin sent me the cover art for her friend's new book, Flat Water Tuesday, a story about competitive rowing and young love. As an adult rower who hails from a renown rowing town, whose extended family rowed, whose parents met because of rowing, and whose brothers and cousins and now son row, the book has a no-brainer appeal for me.

It is not ironic (rather I consider it cosmically inspired) that when that cover art came to me, I was also on the phone being wooed by an exiting board member of my novice son's rowing club to be... yeah: president. I have attended one general membership meeting. They do have their ducks in a row over there, but my "pedigree" was undeniable and most of the board members are land lubbers. I said yes. (D'OH!) We'll see how it goes. It could be great. New beginnings, right?

The energy of these new starts, beginnings, etc., theme is intoxicating; it reminds me of when That Boy looked at me for the first time. The theme for today's post is coursing through me like whisky. I am simultaneously totally psyched and utterly petrified. 

It was one year ago this week, that I sat on my cousin's micro deck beneath the unseasonably warm sun in Buffalo where we talked about her friend's book. He'd just signed on with an agent; a publisher was totally interested. The energy was ramping up. They were talking contracts, money, real business. A part of me died inside when I heard all this. I thought, "I'll never be there... this guy's amazing..." and yet a part of me never died, because that summer I wrote my book. The one that needs the editing and the love I need to give it. I can't blame Facebook; I blame me.

I'm stuck now, just a little, but stuck enough to say this about new beginnings: I am considering writing my foreword now. However, I have this sense that I'm going to end up writing a whole new book, in fact the feeling that I will end up writing a whole new version of that book is undeniable. Is that so bad?

I am an Adult Child of Alcoholics, plural. We ACOAs don't have much luck or experience finishing things, but I know this: if I get started on something that I love, I never give it up. I push and push and push. And while I know that writing that first version of my book was cathartic and amazing, the next revised version, the one that spawns through this foreword, is going to be even better, even clearer. I just need six uninterrupted weeks. Why did I say yes to the rowing club?

But I have to be careful. As an ACOA I am constantly doubting myself, my intuition, my gut. I question the enthusiasm I have for something, I wonder if what I'm doing is enough or valuable. I get so caught up in the questioning of the act that I seldom act. It seems the only thing that fuels my fire to get up and keep going is a silent rage that is borne of the frustration that constant second guessing yields.

People who don't know the world of an ACOA look at us when we talk about it as if we have three heads. "What do you mean you hid under your bed for hours listening for your angry parent to close their door for the night?" or "What do you mean you cooked your own food when you were five? Who does that?" or the other ACOAs in your life will nod knowingly. Either way, you end up talking about that stuff for hours until you can't anymore; you're either sharing stories with people who also survived it, or your busy trying to convince people that those memories were real. It can be taxing.

I'm writing about all this here, so candidly, because I can. It's my literary place under the bed. I'm 45 years old and I'm still worried that my parents will be mad at me if I write about my life. The spiteful kid inside me, my Peter Pan, says this, "Do you think for one minute they considered your anger feelings?" and I think for a moment, sigh, look into the distance and tell Peter, "I have no clue."

Just to be clear, I didn't grow up in tatters under a shanty on a mountainside; we had no want for anything material. My parents were well-educated, connected and intelligent people. I was constantly reminded of my potential, that I could be a concert violinist if I wanted, but I didn't want that. Because they are also ACOAs, my parents knew the damage that negative talk can do. However, it can sound cliché, but it was what they didn't say that spoke louder than anything they did say.

Right now, I can feel the energy ebb a smidge, but the passion is still there; the nagging thought that this foreword can be the jack to "unstuck" me must be attended to. It must be honored.

New beginnings are here for all of us. You don't have to be an ACOA to have them. You just have to be willing to leave the past in the past and if you can summon any ounce of courage from those crushing days that kept you going to today, use it to move you to tomorrow and get that book published.

We are writers. Let's do this.

come out come out, wherever you are. photo credit: me

   

TweetTweet

Love in the Time of Self-Publishing

By Rob Hines

Oh, it’s so easy now.

No, not love. That’s never easy, and anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

What’s easy is putting your written work in front of the entire world’s eyeballs in seconds. Before you can say “slander suit,” you can publish to your blog, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and dozens of other social media sites. That means everyone you know, everyone THEY know, and millions of people you don’t know can read your innermost secrets.

Scary, huh?

Add the complication of trying to express those innermost secrets while not letting your loved ones know they’re the subject of your work, and this literary instant-gratification can be downright terrifying.

How many times have you written something you think is brilliant, possibly the greatest story ever in the history of stories, but instantly close the file and drag it into your “Not Ready” folder because “What if my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/mother/father/second cousin twice removed reads this?  They’ll know it’s about them!”

Been there, archived that.

So what is a writer to do?

Oh, you actually want some answers? Fine, let’s see what I can come up with.

1.       Be Fearless

Don’t worry, I’m not just preaching “truth in art” and telling you to be absolutely transparent in your writing. Once you’re ridiculously rich and can afford to buy friends, you can try this, but I still wouldn't recommend it.

However, I don’t believe in simply avoiding the opportunity to write about your real-life issues. Previously on PPM, you may have read a fantastic article about putting your qualms and quandaries to work for you, and I totally endorse this concept. You can take a much deeper and more engaging approach when writing about your own problems, so don’t miss the opportunity to add this extra dynamic of honesty to your work. Just...

2.       Be Smart

Come on, you’re an f-ing writer! You make up stories for a living, so find a way to talk about real stuff in a creative--and covert--way. Have a horrible boss and need to vent through your story? Go ahead and give the antagonist some of his or her qualities, but be smart enough not to use his or her real name or any variation of it. If your horrible boss is Andy, you’re not fooling him or your nosy co-workers by calling your villain Randy.

The same goes for true-life situations. If you’re stressed about a holiday argument you had with the family, you may not want to write a scathing short about a familial flare-up over Christmas dinner. Switch it up. Write a medieval farce about a battle between villagers that takes place during a solar eclipse.

As long as you creatively disguise the actual inspirations for the people and events in your work, you can still have the cathartic release that makes writing so thrilling.

3.       Be Careful

No one says you have to send everything you write to everyone you know, and if you’re truly worried about certain people seeing what you've written, pick your placement carefully. You don’t have to link a liberal-leaning piece to Facebook if your conservative “friends” would take issue with it, and vice versa. Sure, you should be proud of everything you do, and we all have freedom of speech, but we’re not free of the social consequences of what we write.

That brings me to the most important point of this piece.

4.       Be Honest

To paraphrase a great poet of the 90’s “If they were angry, you don’t need them, because they’re not good friends.”

Will Smith, you truly are the Prince of Freshness.

As a writer, you’ll ruffle some feathers. You’ll write something that pisses somebody off, even if you didn't mean to. That’s part of the job. You just have to be able to stand behind what you write and let your loved ones decide if they can handle that.

Like I said, love’s not easy, and when we decided to take the writer’s path, we added about ten levels of difficulty. The question is whether the joy of sharing a fulfilled life with our close friends and family is worth the pain we’ll inevitably endure along the way.

I think it is.

Tweet  

February - Self Love Means Kicking Yourself Out

By Molly Field

The Peevish Penman prompt for February (really? I'm so sorry about all that alliteration -- I'm slaying myself over here ... ahhh, someone give me some air) is revolving  around:

Love. 

Come back!

I have chocolate!

I lied.


I ate it. It was good. Sorry. Here's the wrapper. Ghardelli.

Moving on, nothing to see here. Oh go on! What I just wrote above does NOT remind you of "This Is Just To Say" by William Carlos Williams about the plums. That was a love note.  

♥ ♥ ♥

We are writing about Love and how we create and write in the face of it... whether that face be a marriage, a new relationship, or with our loved ones around.

Because I am elegant weird, I am going to write about it today in terms of how we show ourselves and our writing love in one simple step: break up with yourself. Show yourself the door and don't come back until you've had time to think about what this relationship with your book or your writing or your blog or your art means to you! You better learn something about how you've been treating that book, art, blog or writing. And when you're ready, show yourself.

And bring chocolate. 

♥ ♥ ♥

This will all make sense shortly, but in the meantime, indulge me as I provide the backstory: so my household has seen its share of airborne illnesses the last few weeks. I will spare you the amoebic details, but the fact of the matter is that since Christmas, I've not spent one week at home without one of my three sons home sick with me or home sick on his own. What this has done for my social life: you don'twannaknow. I've had the frequent displeasure of canceling a lunch four weeks in a row. With the same person. Yes, we're still friends.

I'm back to feeling 100% now, so please stay the hell away from me.

Don't worry, I'll get back to love. Gimme a minute. 

I had an epiphany whilst in the throes of a bout and while it might seem rather pedestrian, it can't be ignored: life is for living and for me (and maybe you?) to be a successful (whatever that means -- it's all subjective, so play nice) writer requires we get the hell out. Ironically, I say all this at risk of sounding myopic.

Surely observations and insights from disabled or impaired people are extremely valuable, but for the overwhelming majority of the able-bodied, we must kick ourselves out of our relationships and dependencies with the everyday and kick up the dust in our own lives, and not let that door hit us on our way out if we are truly going to see results.

We must unfriend ourselves from Facebook, unfollow ourselves from Twitter and unwhatever ourselves from whatever other social media engine within which we frequently engage if we are to bring value to ourselves, our craft, and our readers.

I once challenged a writer to describe an approach to a barn door in 500 words. She couldn't. She did it in 300, which is good, because this writer has limitations when it comes to descriptions. Me? I love them, I get swept up in them and they are like poetry chocolate to me.

We must get out and step into the sunshine, squinting our eyes from its sobering glare in the dead of winter, bracing ourselves against the biting, life-affirming chill and wind which buffets our bodies and whips through our souls. We must take a walk to the pond near our house and when we arrive, we must take off our leather glove, the one with the cashmere liner and touch the massive alabaster rock; and run our chapped index finger along its veins of black coal and crushed quartz as our eyes follow the lines and then wander to the park bench with the flaking paint and rusty legs, barely making purchase of the nails and screws which fasten it to the concrete platform.

We must walk past the bakery with warm and salty aromas of fresh Italian bread, crusty and golden on the outside and downy soft on the inside, the air bubbles inviting our nubby and chilled hands to grab a chunk and devour it; when it's fresh-from-the-oven warm, it tastes better than with any amount of butter on it and the smell alone is an elixir to our souls.

We must pack up our cameras and make sure the batteries are ready. We must bundle up in our trusty pea coats to get into our old cars with seats of faded leather. Turn the key and wait for the engine to start, but turn off the blowers with their frigid air because the crank case isn't warm yet.

We must drive to the old weatherworn and abandoned barn in the countryside, listen to classic songs from Frank Sinatra or Doris Day on our way; keeping that timeless appeal so we transcend the moment in which we exist: 2013, to imagine the world we seek: 1958, so we can embody that lonely farm girl whose eyes linger a little too long on the moon and whose mind tickles the memories of her moments in that barn, with her beau now at bootcamp in Georgia.

We must go to fondue dinner with loved ones during "Restaurant Week," a local week-long program born from post-9/11 sadness and fearful diners when restaurants were shuttering hourly. We must laugh despite our reluctantly transplanted waiter named Nigel who was charming but inattentive. We must kindly ask his peers for water, use our debit cards to pay the check, and hesitantly walk to the car together, wondering what we will do next and then decide, as we approach the interstate sign, with Donna Summer playing in the background, chant, "Go north or go home!" take the onramp to the city, giggle at our spontaneity and feel like teenagers again for our collective recklessness. We must park the minivan, pretend it's one of our parents' car and venture out into the vibrant, windy and pulsing city, seeking tickets to a hockey game already in progress only to discover that once we pass the security check and the baggage search that that game is sold out. But we must decide together undaunted, to go to a bar around the corner, open a tab, have a beer and watch the game on plasmas strung along the walls. See the bartendress with four-inch hoop sparkly earrings scan her smartphone and watch the bar-back in the black longshoreman's knit cap restock the frosted pint glasses; his muscles stretch and contract beneath his t-shirt's rolled up sleeves. We must turn and have no choice but to watch an older man who confessed he was on painkillers and too much beer, dance with a sweet young thing fifteen years his junior, only to see him slow down a bit, get a little too dizzy and then see him maintain his dignity as he surrenders to his age and to the night as he zips up his hoody, walks up the steps and bids the bar goodnight.

We must do these things. We must get out of our own way, even in the face of love: lovers will understand when we need to do these things, to get away. If they are worth having around, they will be there when we get back.

The fact of the matter is that if I love myself, I need to break-up with myself and kick myself out of social media, and make myself take me out on a date, or for a drive, or for a walk, without the computer but only with my eyes and my memory. Same goes for my writing, my art. The only way to get anything gritty, good and new for my work and for my soul is to turn away from what I already know and look boldly into what I see out there.

Take a late-night romantic ride in a crowded car with some coeds here:
http://mollyfielddotcom.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/friday-fiction-6-the-car-ride-dream/

Tweet

Problem Solving: Breaking Down to Build Up

By Molly Field

When our fearless leader, Carrie Bailey suggested a prompt for any willing and able and (in my case head-cold -afflicted Peevish Penman), I was all in.

The prompt however, left me thinking more about how to consider it than to actually write to it. The prompt, which I going to chew up as many words as I can by referencing it here is this: "think of a problem you've encountered as a writer and then detail a solution for it."

This head-cold really stinks, but it has come in amazingly handy for this prompt because while NyQuil gives you audacious and coo-coo dreams, DayQuil gives you the confidence to make you think you can achieve them. For instance, writing this piece on solving a problem in my writing.

Here's where my flip attitude about this topic ends. Despite the genré (humor, suspense, fiction, non-fiction), writing is serious business: a writer's word choice, phrasing, tempo and skill tells a reader a lot more about the writer than a casual conversation. We wear our hearts on our fingertips and readers get the gist of who we are rather quickly.

That said, sometimes we don't want to be so obvious. My "encountered problem" would be my relationship with what I've written. Sometimes I'm too close and I get stuck. Every writer experiences a problem in what they're writing. Even non-writers. Consider the note to a child's teacher or a friend you're visiting.

For the note to the teacher, sometimes it's not so simple and I can tell you as a parent with full access to any manner of writing tools, a paper and pen is always best when it comes to those missives. When I sit at the computer, I am suddenly Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy: wanting to sound intent but clever and engaging.

To wit: "Dear Mrs. Hausenfraussenagle, It is always believed that a child who comes to school sleepy is one wont of more... sleep, of course! Therefore, I regret to impart to you my dear educator, that Mortimer slept past the rooster's crow this dusky Monday morn and I beg your pardon for the inconvenience. We are a happy family..."

A paper and pencil solves this immediately:

"Dear Mrs. H: Mort slept in this morning. We all did. Long, fun weekend. Please accept our regrets. Have a great day."   

Still with me?

Grrr....Yes, but Molly, why are you talking about a tardy note...? 

Here's what I'm getting at: when I am stuck...really stuck, I take a pen to paper. I write out what I mean to say in short hits. Consider the tardy note as a piece of a story:

Kid sleeps in.
Late to school.
Family reference.
Regret.

Now, what you do with that is up to you: if we're talking about a fictional work, some sort of character development, then you write in / include your modifiers: mother is hungover; father is sick or on travel; older sibling left for job before school without waking anyone else. I decided, because I'm so happy-go-lucky, that we'd have a family-in-crisis scenario.

Color it in... (this is all off the top of my OTC-grade cold remedy -influenced head, so keep your rotten vegetables at bay):

When Susan awoke in the morning, her head was the heaviest piece of her body. The bedsheets and blankets were twisted by her feet. A bout of crying and fighting with her bottle demons stole precious hours from her otherwise typical night's sleep. Her little boy, Mort, was in his hoodie, snoring on the tattered sofa, his mouth open to the page in the library book he'd fallen asleep upon. The sun was barely cresting the scant treetops on the reservation, but slivers of light made their way through the holes in the drawn blinds. It was going to be a bright day, Susan thought about her sunglasses, where were they? She ambled out of her bed, slipped into her flip-flops, and felt her way to the kitchen where she started a pan of hot water to cook for the coffee. The clanging of the silverware in the double-wide bounced off the prefab walls, rustled Morty, whose cherubic face popped over the back of the sofa to see what his mother was up to. A note on the counter from Mitch, her older son announced his departure for his job at the bagel shop. She needed to get Mort off to school, but he would be late, again.

There. It obviously needs some editing, but...

Break it down to build it up.

Another tactic I've used is stream of consciousness writing. Where you just sit and write -- either with pen and paper or at the keyboard and just go. Oftentimes for me anyway, I've got a lot on my mind, so just letting it rip can be therapeutic. That piece about Susan and Morty just flowed out right now. I know this about me: I can't tell a story, but I can write a story.

Another tip I can share is this: STOP. Get up and leave. Go for a walk. Listen to some music that isn't writerly; get a sheet of paper and a pencil and go to another room and MAKE YOURSELF draw a picture of what you're looking at. Pick your image and DO IT. You might surprise yourself with how good you might be or... you might confirm your opinion that you suck at illustration. I got an iPad for Christmas and last night I was feeling like fetid garbage and bored to tears so I drew this on it:

And here I am today, all OTC'd up and ready to go. Don't judge. The point is: you're trying something new and you're developing new synapses in your brain which will help you be more creative. Other than that or saying have a go at performance art, I'm out of suggestions.

Sometimes getting back to the elemental basics, the five Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why) will get you unstuck. Sometimes a section might need to be written just to get you going again. To borrow from Stephen King, you might have to kill the darlings on final edits, but those moments of breaking down, those moments of distillation are essential to get you to move forward. I realize that I could've broken down this entire post to the very paragraph I'm closing right now, but then it wouldn't have been nearly as charming, now would it?

I hope this helped. I'm going back to bed.

Writing THE End

by Clark Brooks

Popular belief among many has the world coming to an end on December 21, 2012, coinciding with the last day of the Mayan Calendar. Depending on when you're reading this, here are either some helpful tips to help you chronicle The End of Days or nothing because you're too late and it's all been destroyed, including you. 

So you've decided to write about the end of the world. Good for you! Whether it's live blogging the cataclysmic events ("OMG! Here come the comets! UPDATE: I guess technically they're asteroids") or leaving behind a written document for the small bands of plucky, post-apocalyptic survivors to study as they're picked off one-by-one by zombies or the new dinosaurs, you're taking on a monumental task and should be applauded for doing so. Here are some helpful DOs and DON'Ts to assist you.

DO find a comfortable place to write - Your usual spot might not suit your needs. Near that one window where you set up a small antique desk because normally you can expect lots of natural sunlight to pour in so you can look out and see a pond while listening to birds chirp in the trees may not be the best place to put you in a writerly state of mind when people are running around, screaming in terror as the earth's crust cracks open, spewing forth hordes of lava demons. Try a large closet or in the bathtub.

DO try to adhere to your usual writing routine as much as possible - If your iPod has a certain playlist you enjoy listening to while you write, by all means, let it play. Sure, our existence is being snuffed out forever but you're not obligated to listen to "Ride of the Valkyries" or "O Fortuna" or Juice Newton if you don't want to.

DON'T be inconsiderate - If you get started and suddenly realize, "Oh snap! I'm out of coffee. I need to go to the store!", don't park in one of the accessible spaces because you figure it just doesn't matter anymore. That's a dick move. Respect the needs of others right up until the point that there aren't any more (needs or others). However, if you've always wanted to jump out of a moving vehicle and let it just crash into traffic and explode, I think people would understand that this is your last chance to do so and support your right to cross something cool off your bucket list. So I guess that would be DO commit futile, flamboyant last gestures but DON'T be inconsiderate.

DO take breaks as needed - We know what day the apocalypse is happening but we don't know how long it's supposed to take. It could be an all-day thing and you're going to get tired. Don't let that happen. You need to stay fresh! The worst thing that could possibly happen is if you look over your work when you think you're all finished and realize, "Damn it, I started three paragraphs in row with 'AUUGGHHH!!' I need to re-edit the whole thing!" Well, that won't be the worst thing, but you get the idea.

DON'T forget to spellcheck - The end of the world is no excuse to be careless and sloppy.

Holiday Writing Survival Tips

Tweet

By Rob Hines

The bells are jingling and the halls are reasonably decked.  'Tis the season to be merry, and if you’re staying productive while you celebrate with kith and kin, good for you!

For the rest of us, the colorful lights and onslaught of cookies and candy are also jolly reminders that we’re not getting much writing done.

If you’re feeling the pressure of the season and wondering how you can feel like you’re still moving your writing forward, I've put a few tips together.  If you’d like, you can read these suggestions as you play your favorite instrumental holiday tune.

1. Download Evernote on your phone or other portable device.  You’ll probably have a bunch of great writing ideas as you celebrate the holidays, but you’ll probably also find yourself in festive situations where it’s not easy to get to a keyboard to take them down.  Evernote has been my go-to app for notetaking at all hours.  Just create a few folders to organize and prioritize your ideas however you’d like.  Novel, short story, script.  Good, bad, so-so.  Drunk, buzzed, sober.  Whatever you think will keep your thoughts in order.
2. Remember everything you see and hear from your family, even the crazy stuff.  Especially the crazy stuff.  We love our families, but there’s a strange feeling of stress that begins to creep in every year as the holidays approach.  That feeling comes from the certainty that your family will say and do things that will make you question your genetic composition.  My challenge to you is to embrace the inevitable lunacy and channel your stress creatively to transform your holiday experiences into amazing story and character ideas.  Just make sure you change the names and places to keep future holidays from getting weird.  Unless you really want to send a message.  That’s your deal.
3. Finally, I grant you all permission to find inspiration in cheese.  You can try to avoid them all you want, but I defy anyone to make it all the way through the holidays without being subjected to one or more traditional holiday movies.  By the way, when it comes to holiday movies, the word “traditional” really means “you have to watch these saccharin flicks that no one watched when they came out because you’re not really celebrating if you don’t.”  But I’m not completely condemning our beloved holiday movies.  In fact, I've come to realize that these films have weaseled their way into our artistic lexicon, and since they’re so ubiquitous we can use them to inspire our own writing.  Want to write a story about small town life?  Study A Christmas Story.  Pondering personal triumph?  Explore It’s A Wonderful Life.  Thinking about a story of redemption?  Just watch any of the million Scrooge movies.  Okay, you could also read the Dickens classic, but you’re stuck in front of the TV anyway so you might as well use the Cliffs Notes version.  Are these movies great art?  Of course not, but they've done something that every writer wishes could happen to his or her work.  They've become beloved.  They've become part of our culture to the point that writers from every medium still include allusions to these classic stories in their works.  Don't be shy about doing the same thing with your own special touch.

Will these next few weeks be busy?  Yep.  Will you experience a strange cocktail of anxiety, stress and childlike joy?  Probably.  But there’s no reason why you can’t celebrate the holiday of your choice (or all of them) and still be a productive writer.  Just don’t blame me if you go all Hemingway and develop an egg-nog addiction.

Happy Holidays Everyone!