Confessions of a Premise Writer

by Rob Hines

That’s me. I’m a Premise Writer.

It sounds like a real job, doesn't it? Premise Writer. It almost sounds like you could make money doing that.

Nope. Not even remotely.

Trust me. Being broke does NOT look this good.

Premise writing is what I've been doing since I decided to start writing fiction, and I've only recently come to grips with this label. It’s a sickness, kind of like rabies, I think. You can cure it, but it takes some gnarly treatment and you should probably avoid people for a month or so.

Are you a premise writer? Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have a billion ideas written in piles of spiral notebooks and/or an incredibly cluttered note-taking app on your phone?
2. Have you written any more than about a page or two of any one idea?
3. Do you waste time at work organizing your ideas in fun Google Drive folders instead of actually turning them into thought-out stories?
4. When you do write a story, do you tend to jump right to the “million dollar idea” and linger there for a while before jumping right to the end?
5. Have you had a story about a problem gambler who acquires a golden touch rejected because an editor feels “it all comes too easily” meaning the premise happens with no real conflict or consequences?

Okay, that last one is pretty much exclusive to me, but if you feel any sympathy pains for the other four, you may be a Premise Writer too. Hope is not lost, though. You and I can break from a fate of being buried in an avalanche of hoarded notebooks full of neglected concepts. The key is (cue dramatic music) OUTLINING!

Yep, there they go. The artists are leaving now. The ones who want their writing to be an expression of their inner beings have given up on me.

Okay, the rest of you? You’re professional writers. You’re the ones who know you have to plan a project to achieve consistent results (read: get paid to write)

I’m not dissing anyone who doesn't plan their writing. Hell, until about a week or two ago, I WAS one of those people. At least, I was that way in my fiction writing. My revelation came when I realized that I’m more than just a fiction writer. I’m a corporate writer too. I write copy for advertising, corporate blog articles, web copy, and even a corporate comic book! And you wanna hear a secret? I plan each of those projects before I write them. Why? Because I like to eat horrible food and my paycheck allows me to continue buying said horrible food. If I'm that committed to horrible food, why shouldn't I be just as committed to fulfilling my writing dream?

My cubicle-mate at the above-referenced day job is also a writer and he has published two non-fiction books (if you’re a baseball fan, you can buy one of them here). He’s a relentless planner when he writes and I guess I thought there were different rules for non-fiction. There aren't. Well, except for the whole factual thing.

No matter what you write, the best way to make writing more efficient and less torturous is to effectively outline your plot and your characters. I’m not talking about the high school research paper method with Roman numerals and A’s and B’s and all that. All I’m suggesting is you know what’s going to happen from start to finish as well as the major events in between. It may be a bulleted list. It may be a detailed list of acts and scenes. It may even be a mind map that starts with a central theme and bursts in all different directions. The key is putting your whole story on the page before you try to write 100,000 words around it.

I’m not saying it’s for everyone. I know many great writers just sit and write. Good for them. I’m a Premise Writer. If I do that, I will do a fantastic job of writing down a plot with terribly boring characters and little to no exposition or resolution. In other words, I will suck.

So now I’m outlining. I’m giving myself a chance to hear the story from start to finish and understand my characters so I have a blueprint to guide my actual writing. I’m giving myself a chance to not suck.

Words to live (and write) by

Well, at least not suck as much.

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Building Your Reader Army

By Rob Hines

I'm yet to be published, and I have yet to finish a book so feel free to judge my opinions accordingly. However, (and this is a fairly big However) I have spent a couple dozen years or so studying consumer habits in my sales, media and marketing lives, and I'm a heavy media consumer myself. Okay, disclaimer done.

Me: Circa 1987

Even though I'm inexperienced on the publishing side of the media community, I have a TON of experience working with consumers and I'm willing to bet that experience is going to help my book sales.

You know, once I actually have something to sell.

Who's Your Community?

Do you talk to writers or readers? Who's more likely to read (and buy) your books? Writers are pretty busy, you know, writing. Sure, they read a little to keep their skills sharp, but if you want to find people that buy books, you want to find readers.

When you first joined social media to build your writing career--

(You are on social media, right? Facebook, Twitter, etc.? If not, go sign up for Twitter at least. It's simple. I'll wait. So how about that crazy weather, huh? Are you watching the Stanley Cup? That triple overtime game was wild! I sure hope the Hawks can pull it out, but that Boston defense is wicked.)

Oh, you're back. It was easy, right? Now that everyone's getting social, let me give you a tip to think about when interacting with other people on social media. Following writers is great for learning. Following READERS is best for EARNING. 

Pretty catchy, eh?

When I first decided "I'm going to be a writer" a few years back, I immediately ran to Twitter and started following writers. It was fun. I actually had writers following me back, including Sideways author and frequent follow-backer Rex Pickett, so that was a thrill. These experienced authors were sharing knowledge, giving tips, and most importantly, proving that writers are everyday people too. In fact, following writers is what connected me with Peevish Penman so it was most definitely a strong strategy.

But times they will be a changin'. When that first book hits shelves and/or Kindles, I need to expand my community so I'm not just talking to writers all day. I need to start talking to readers. I need to find those Tweeters and Facebookers who list reading as their number one pastime. These are the people that will seek me out and at the very least read my Kindle samples to decide if they should plunk down some dough and help put food on my kid's plate. They're readers. That's what they do.

Not big on social media? Then hit the streets! Go places where readers are. Jody already gave us a great strategy for book-signings, but there are other places readers gather. Talk to your local librarian and ask about special events where you might be able to mingle with local readers. Find trade shows and festivals where your book may be well-received and get a booth if not too cost-prohibitive. That's why I prefer social media, because it's FREE, but if you want a more personal approach, feel free to open up the wallet and get your meet-and-greet on.

Shifting your focus to readers is step one. Now let's take a deeper dive.

Find Your People!

Once you've found readers, you have to find YOUR readers. This part might get tricky, especially if you entered this career expecting to write books for the entire world. Time to admit an uncomfortable truth. Not everyone is going to dig your work. At least, not right away. I'll talk more about shifting customer bases later but for now, you just need to determine YOUR people. 

If you're writing general fiction, this may not be that easy, but if you're doing genre-specific stuff, there are any number of book clubs, internet forums, facebook groups, etc. that would be ecstatic to have an actual author of the genre they love interact with them. Use these groups to create connections and build a rabid reader base. They'll tell similar-thinking friends and you will start to grow your army.

This can happen for non-genre writing too, but the process seems to be much more hit-and-miss. One person who loves your work won't necessarily have friends and family who will be so readily convertible. It just means you'll have to talk to more people to find your groove, but it's out there somewhere.

Welcome Others

Braaaaaaaaains!

Building your army can be tough, and to make it even tougher, readers are constantly evolving. Ten years ago, nobody was reading zombie books except for a small devoted fan base. Now, everybody is crazy about zombies. 

Unfortunately, the authors who are really making money on zombie fiction began writing it before it really took off, and outright luck often comes into play when finding these new fans, but this is a good thing. It means there's always a chance the the stuff you love to write (and probably what you do best) is going to catch on with the general public and make your books extremely profitable. Don't ever underestimate the chances of making new fans. It can happen in an instant.

But this is not how you should measure your success. These happenstance tag-alongs will not be a given so don't start mansion shopping, but if it happens to you, just enjoy the ride because it appears to be a fun one.

Marketing your work (and yourself) can, and should, be an enjoyable experience. All you need is a solid strategy, a little persistence (read: a crapload of persistence), and an undying love for what you do. You're a writer. They're your readers. Now go find them!

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Crickets and the Muse

By Molly Field

We were told this month to set out to offend someone (anyone) in our posts for the sake of engagement. This is a desperate attempt to get you, someone who's never commented on this blog before, to do the seemingly impossible: tell us what you think.

click here to hear some of your previous comments.

So I'm just going for it; this is totally full of non-sequiturs, so enjoy the ... whatever.

http://www.scmp.com/sites/default/files/styles/980w/public/2013/02/04/comp.jpg?itok=9JXFZ9H3

In an effort to prove to us that you have a pulse, working eyes, hands that can type, and that you're not a Chinese hacker and that you might disagree with anything I might say, I'm going to entice your wrath and write about the most devious of codependencies: how my writing benefits when someone's life is in the crapper.

If it's your life: I need it to stay there so I can write a story based on it without your permission. Because the more you stay asleep to the desperate existence you're hanging onto by a diaphanous thread, the better my content, the richer my dialogue, the tighter my story. The more asleep and blasé you are all the time, the better for sociopaths opportunists creatives like me.

I have someone in my life whom I've decided likes loves to feel sorry for itself. I'm going write in a  gender neutral fashion or ich können sogar auf Deutsch und Sie benutzen das dritte Geschlecht, aber nein, ich will nicht*.

"Lesley's" rants are exhausting. This perforated, yo-yo height, hermaphrodite, Slavic cat dresser friend of mine likes to fixate on the bad, drink too much, dress in charcoal gray, talk about death and sadness, and listen to The Cure, Nickelback, and Laura Branigan songs and also watch John Waters movies in the dark.

It's bad. "Lesley" needs help. And the name is all of it, the quotations included; its parents were new to the country when they adopted it from Illinois.

But I'm so torn!

"Lesley" is my muse for my main character, Chester Feltentooth! S/he's the pro/pre/ant-agonist (emphasis on agony) in my upcoming novel, People Who Should Have Stopped Trying: The Story of Potters in the Rain, out this summer by Too Bad So Sad press, a joint venture imprint of Cosmopolitan Magazine and Penzoil. Illustrations by Charles Addams and "The Family Circus" are blatantly stolen without any regard to copyright laws whatsoever.

Why so venom on poor "Lesley," Molly? Because I'm in a mood.

But I'm also in a tight spot... I mean, if "Lesley" wakes up and changes and improves its life, then where goes my muse? My fodder for my book? My manna for my novel? It's like this: I want "Lesley" to be just bad off enough to continue to live so I can steal its life for my story, but that's it. Any somatic improvement will knock this book off the best-seller's list.

So I tell this person "Lesley," "You need help! You should take better care of yourself!" (While I walk it back into its dark house, inspect its mail for cash, throw away its bills, and guide it back to its cage. As its back is turned, I rest a case of Mad Dog 20/20 with bendy straws on its cage-side table, where I've tactfully replaced its clock and lamp with a carton of unfiltered Lucky Strikes next to my a sad clown Zippo lighter and play Carole King songs on repeat shuffle.)

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/SadClown.jpg

Why? Because I'm a selfish, craven, unimaginative deviant who needs content and my brain is too jacked up on antibiotics from my gonorrhea strep throat, that's why.

I asked our fearless leader Carrie earlier,

"Are you serious about wanting to offend our readers? Because I'm about to let the snarling, scratching, feral, hissing, and rabid backwater cat out of its tattered burlap sack outside a Kinder Care," 

and she said this (after calling her lawyer):

Ultimately, you've got to decide what you want your name on. Don't worry about the site's reputation. If you feel that it would be helpful, write a foreword to the article that serves as a sort of disclaimer to prepare the readers for a change in tone and give it some context. 

How does that sound?  

How does that sound?! I'll tell you. It sounds like a cop out. (Just kidding, Carrie, I love you.)

So to all you mayonnaise chocolate cake eaters in your three-day-old pajamas, by all means: keep it up. I need you to maintain or elevate the lachrymose in your life so that I can finish my book. Hang out more with your toddler-pageant judges and repo friends! But if you suddenly run out of 20/20, call me you do want progress, and you really mean it -- give me the names and addresses of your toddler-pageant judges and repo friends because I need them. But think about the arts first. We need you.

However, change is hard. So if that second hour without a crisis in your life is too much, definitely consider dwelling in the past, do moan over things you can't change, and keep on licking those wounds, because as we all know: no wound gets better unless you fester over it and lick the hell out of it, just ask my coonhound "Gunther," who's now on his fifth round of antibiotics and steroid injections.

And don't even consider trying to write your own book. Only losers write their own books; here's a white zinfandel slushy, give your story to me. Want some pork rinds? Well, I just so happen to have some... right next to the VCR. Do you smoke? Is it me or is it too bright in here?

I can't say this any better than veteran New Yorker cartoonist, Roz Chast in the April 15, 2013, issue:

So... do you have any comments for me? Who's your muse? Want some 20/20?

*I can even go German on you and use the third gender, but no, I won't.

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Forging Relationships With Other Writers

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by Kelly DeBie

For as much as writing is a solitary activity, requiring us to dig deep within ourselves and tap our inner resources, I’ve found that in many ways it is also a community.

A strange and beautiful community.

That community is the reason that I’m writing here today, at the urging and recommendation of Molly Field, a fellow writer that I’ve never met in person but seem to have more in common with than most people I’ve ever known in real life.

In the past year, I’ve reached out to other writers more.  Many writers have reached out to me.  The nature of blogging is, at it’s core, social.  Blogging is a platform for me to write, usually daily, and immediately share that writing with the world.

Due to the nature of the medium, it seems almost mandatory that a blogger utilize social networking sites.  It’s through these sites that I’ve established, fostered and grown the relationships that I now hold dear.  Those relationships are with the writers I now consider my kindred spirits.

These connections, the ones that often leave me nodding my head in agreement, are ones that I cherish more than I can say.  We aren’t just writers, we often share similar journeys in life.  We’ve known heartache and turmoil.  We have a depth of character and a level of experience that often seems unique to this tight-knit world.

We understand each other in a way that most people don’t.

I know that I’ve made some connections in this past year that have changed my writing.  Tested my abilities.  Pushed my limits, both in terms of subject matter and personal investment.  These friends have encouraged me to try new things, to take risks, to hold myself accountable when I set goals.  

They understand more than anyone how emotionally draining the act of writing can be, and at the same time realize that the therapeutic value of doing so often surpasses the pain.

They see the inherent value in vulnerability.  In revealing the things that we hold closest.

Often, I find myself running things by them before I’ll hit that *publish* button, partially to affirm that I’m doing this all for the right reasons, partially for the moral support, but most often to confirm that I’m not the only one floating around in the ocean of life with this experience.

When it comes to the actual writing, it’s me and my keyboard pounding it out.

Knowing that there are other people out there, typing away in the confines of their isolated worlds, yet wanting to be understood, is what keeps me going.

To my fellow writers, thank you.

Are You Ready or Not? New Beginnings

By Molly Field

As a writer, nothing brings you greater satisfaction than penning that crisp sentence, flowing with the prose you not only create yourself, but with excellent writing offered by other authors.

Because we fancy ourselves a complex species, the opposite side of the same coin proposes that as a writer, nothing brings you greater senses of defeat and challenge than the words of other authors.

Spring is coming. The cherry blossoms on our neighborhood trees are pinking and peeking; the cardinals and robins are chatty, looking for wives. The sun is shining a little stronger and a little brighter every day. Spring, brings Macy's white sales and thoughts of purging, spring cleaning, new beginnings. I believe that many "New Year's Resolutions" should really be made on the first day of spring because in the winter, it's still too cold (at least where I live) to begin training for a marathon outside. (Yes, I am aware that not all NYRs focus on fitness.)

So for this month, we are encouraged to talk to you about new beginnings, fresh starts... This is a challenge for me because I am in the throes of a mental reorganization myself. But no time like the present, eh?

I didn't know what I was going to write about today. I get my prompt from our fearless leader, and sometimes I gnaw on a bone and other times I just bang one out. This time, I did a little of both. 

Without boring you to tears, I gave up Facebook for Lent. I'm not terrifically Catholic, but the opportunity was so well-timed and I wanted an out anyway, that I couldn't resist. It had all become too much for me.

My intention was to spend that time working on my book's drafts and edit it, which I have done, but not with the attention I paid to my Facebook "career." So clearly, I've got some work to do. The thing is though, that yesterday, my cousin sent me the cover art for her friend's new book, Flat Water Tuesday, a story about competitive rowing and young love. As an adult rower who hails from a renown rowing town, whose extended family rowed, whose parents met because of rowing, and whose brothers and cousins and now son row, the book has a no-brainer appeal for me.

It is not ironic (rather I consider it cosmically inspired) that when that cover art came to me, I was also on the phone being wooed by an exiting board member of my novice son's rowing club to be... yeah: president. I have attended one general membership meeting. They do have their ducks in a row over there, but my "pedigree" was undeniable and most of the board members are land lubbers. I said yes. (D'OH!) We'll see how it goes. It could be great. New beginnings, right?

The energy of these new starts, beginnings, etc., theme is intoxicating; it reminds me of when That Boy looked at me for the first time. The theme for today's post is coursing through me like whisky. I am simultaneously totally psyched and utterly petrified. 

It was one year ago this week, that I sat on my cousin's micro deck beneath the unseasonably warm sun in Buffalo where we talked about her friend's book. He'd just signed on with an agent; a publisher was totally interested. The energy was ramping up. They were talking contracts, money, real business. A part of me died inside when I heard all this. I thought, "I'll never be there... this guy's amazing..." and yet a part of me never died, because that summer I wrote my book. The one that needs the editing and the love I need to give it. I can't blame Facebook; I blame me.

I'm stuck now, just a little, but stuck enough to say this about new beginnings: I am considering writing my foreword now. However, I have this sense that I'm going to end up writing a whole new book, in fact the feeling that I will end up writing a whole new version of that book is undeniable. Is that so bad?

I am an Adult Child of Alcoholics, plural. We ACOAs don't have much luck or experience finishing things, but I know this: if I get started on something that I love, I never give it up. I push and push and push. And while I know that writing that first version of my book was cathartic and amazing, the next revised version, the one that spawns through this foreword, is going to be even better, even clearer. I just need six uninterrupted weeks. Why did I say yes to the rowing club?

But I have to be careful. As an ACOA I am constantly doubting myself, my intuition, my gut. I question the enthusiasm I have for something, I wonder if what I'm doing is enough or valuable. I get so caught up in the questioning of the act that I seldom act. It seems the only thing that fuels my fire to get up and keep going is a silent rage that is borne of the frustration that constant second guessing yields.

People who don't know the world of an ACOA look at us when we talk about it as if we have three heads. "What do you mean you hid under your bed for hours listening for your angry parent to close their door for the night?" or "What do you mean you cooked your own food when you were five? Who does that?" or the other ACOAs in your life will nod knowingly. Either way, you end up talking about that stuff for hours until you can't anymore; you're either sharing stories with people who also survived it, or your busy trying to convince people that those memories were real. It can be taxing.

I'm writing about all this here, so candidly, because I can. It's my literary place under the bed. I'm 45 years old and I'm still worried that my parents will be mad at me if I write about my life. The spiteful kid inside me, my Peter Pan, says this, "Do you think for one minute they considered your anger feelings?" and I think for a moment, sigh, look into the distance and tell Peter, "I have no clue."

Just to be clear, I didn't grow up in tatters under a shanty on a mountainside; we had no want for anything material. My parents were well-educated, connected and intelligent people. I was constantly reminded of my potential, that I could be a concert violinist if I wanted, but I didn't want that. Because they are also ACOAs, my parents knew the damage that negative talk can do. However, it can sound cliché, but it was what they didn't say that spoke louder than anything they did say.

Right now, I can feel the energy ebb a smidge, but the passion is still there; the nagging thought that this foreword can be the jack to "unstuck" me must be attended to. It must be honored.

New beginnings are here for all of us. You don't have to be an ACOA to have them. You just have to be willing to leave the past in the past and if you can summon any ounce of courage from those crushing days that kept you going to today, use it to move you to tomorrow and get that book published.

We are writers. Let's do this.

come out come out, wherever you are. photo credit: me

   

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Planning Your Own Book Launch

by Jody Aberdeen

Our fearless leader and occasional radio personality Carrie Bailey has set us the challenge of writing on the theme of problems and solutions. I'd like to talk about a "problem" that I always wanted to have: namely, launching my own book as an independent author.

Lucianna, testing the art of Japanese shibari bondage,
one of the fun things guests will get to see at our launch

I'm doing just that for my novel "Convergence".  My writers guild, the Toronto Wordslingers, is hosting my a launch for my time travel romance.

My friend and fellow guild-runner Lucianna LiSacchi is also joining me to promote her erotic drama "Mommy's Little Playgroup".

Everything happens at 8pm on Friday, February 1st, in Toronto, at Arta Gallery in the Distillery District.

Appropriately, we're billing it as "An Evening of Sex and Romance". 

So, what's the "problem"?  Well, let's first take the advice of a multi-millionaire gentleman I happened to meet in Toronto a few years back and change the word "problem" to "challenge". Mindset is everything when you start to make a living doing what you love the most, and challenges contain far more opportunity than "problems". 

Why are we doing this?  Shouldn't we wait until we get picked up by a publisher. Absolutely not!  Independently published books are now so prevalent that publishers are now scouring e-pub sites for new talent. 50 Shades of Grey began as an independently published e-book. British author John Locke made over a million dollars selling his e-books for just under 99 cents. 

All this means that, as unsigned authors with books now ready, we have no incentive to wait to celebrate our achievements.  And if you're going to celebrate, you may as well go big.

Creating a Platform 

Arta Gallery, Toronto, the site of our book launch. 

That's not to say we're opposed to being signed: in fact, that is still the dream. We still query agents and publishers, and we're hoping that some representatives from Random House and Harper Collins will show up.

However, one thing that publishers look for in these risk-averse times are serious writers who will have more where that came from, and that's hard to demonstrate with just one book unless you have a platform.

We're investing thousands of dollars, an Indiegogo campaign, several media outlets, and all of our social and professional networks behind this evening.  That's not even counting our websites, smaller events that we're going to host and take part in to promote ourselves, and other ideas we haven't even thought of yet but are seeking out.  As platforms go, they don't get much bigger than that.

Challenges We Face Planning Our Book Launch 

^^dressed for success (really,
a friend's wedding, but you
get the idea)

Becoming salesmen.  Not one person in our little boutique guild has a background in sales.  We don't like it.  We've had to evolve some cojones to shamelessly plug our launch at every turn.  As artists, we all share a reluctance to be inauthentic, and I've always viewed selling as a sleazy business.  That being said, reality dictates that we learn techniques to show people why what we're doing should matter to them.

The solution?  See yourself and your work as worthy of the time, money, success, and attention of others, and keep going. 

Learning on the fly.  I tell my guild and coaching clients that sometimes the best leaders and teachers are only ever twenty yards ahead of you on the way to the end zone. This is definitely the case with planning our own launch: we're learning as we go.  We will screw things up.  We may lose our investments.  We may miss out on opportunities.  That's okay, because this is our first of many books we want to crank out, and many more book launches we want to host.  This is the life we chose. 

The solution? Forgive yourself in advance, keep learning, and keep going. 

^^scared shitless

Being scared shitless. There's a veritable Zeno's Paradox of things that could cause our event to fail.  Then again, a million things can happen to you stepping out your front door: that doesn't mean you're going to be housebound the rest of your life.  Still, that rational assurance does nothing to quell the butterflies buzzing around your solar plexus.

The solution? Let the fear do its thing....and keep going.

Aside from the details of getting things booked, putting down deposits, and meeting with people, there's little that separates hosting a book launch from the art of expressing what's in your soul onto the page.  The solution to every challenge the writer's life throws our way is the same: keep going.

My Shameless Plug 

Speaking of sales-y things: if you're not in Toronto, but would like to support us anyway, visit us on Indiegogo and choose the "Pen Pals" perk.  A $20 USD donation will get you an e-anthology featuring short stories from our Toronto Wordslingers writers, including yours truly, along with the thanks of a grateful group of writers just like you.

And if you don't donate, feel free to promote us to your friends and contacts by sharing our link.

Book signings, champagne, and a little light bondage.
What more could you want
from An Evening of Sex and Romance? 

I'll be sure to update the Peevish Nation on how it all turns out, and share everything that we'll have learned by then.

Until then, boys and girls, continue to believe in yourselves, your stories, and your work,  and always keep going despite your fear. This is what you were born to do.

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Holiday Writing Survival Tips

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By Rob Hines

The bells are jingling and the halls are reasonably decked.  'Tis the season to be merry, and if you’re staying productive while you celebrate with kith and kin, good for you!

For the rest of us, the colorful lights and onslaught of cookies and candy are also jolly reminders that we’re not getting much writing done.

If you’re feeling the pressure of the season and wondering how you can feel like you’re still moving your writing forward, I've put a few tips together.  If you’d like, you can read these suggestions as you play your favorite instrumental holiday tune.

1. Download Evernote on your phone or other portable device.  You’ll probably have a bunch of great writing ideas as you celebrate the holidays, but you’ll probably also find yourself in festive situations where it’s not easy to get to a keyboard to take them down.  Evernote has been my go-to app for notetaking at all hours.  Just create a few folders to organize and prioritize your ideas however you’d like.  Novel, short story, script.  Good, bad, so-so.  Drunk, buzzed, sober.  Whatever you think will keep your thoughts in order.
2. Remember everything you see and hear from your family, even the crazy stuff.  Especially the crazy stuff.  We love our families, but there’s a strange feeling of stress that begins to creep in every year as the holidays approach.  That feeling comes from the certainty that your family will say and do things that will make you question your genetic composition.  My challenge to you is to embrace the inevitable lunacy and channel your stress creatively to transform your holiday experiences into amazing story and character ideas.  Just make sure you change the names and places to keep future holidays from getting weird.  Unless you really want to send a message.  That’s your deal.
3. Finally, I grant you all permission to find inspiration in cheese.  You can try to avoid them all you want, but I defy anyone to make it all the way through the holidays without being subjected to one or more traditional holiday movies.  By the way, when it comes to holiday movies, the word “traditional” really means “you have to watch these saccharin flicks that no one watched when they came out because you’re not really celebrating if you don’t.”  But I’m not completely condemning our beloved holiday movies.  In fact, I've come to realize that these films have weaseled their way into our artistic lexicon, and since they’re so ubiquitous we can use them to inspire our own writing.  Want to write a story about small town life?  Study A Christmas Story.  Pondering personal triumph?  Explore It’s A Wonderful Life.  Thinking about a story of redemption?  Just watch any of the million Scrooge movies.  Okay, you could also read the Dickens classic, but you’re stuck in front of the TV anyway so you might as well use the Cliffs Notes version.  Are these movies great art?  Of course not, but they've done something that every writer wishes could happen to his or her work.  They've become beloved.  They've become part of our culture to the point that writers from every medium still include allusions to these classic stories in their works.  Don't be shy about doing the same thing with your own special touch.

Will these next few weeks be busy?  Yep.  Will you experience a strange cocktail of anxiety, stress and childlike joy?  Probably.  But there’s no reason why you can’t celebrate the holiday of your choice (or all of them) and still be a productive writer.  Just don’t blame me if you go all Hemingway and develop an egg-nog addiction.

Happy Holidays Everyone!