Networking Tips for Shy Writers: Three Steps to Success

If you're a writer, you likely want to make a living from your craft, but the idea of networking to market your skills or work may seem too intimidating for you.  As a shy writer, I've had to develop the skills to connect with others to promote my work.  Here are three quick tips to get you started.

Be No One Else But Yourself

Much of Western business culture is biased towards extroverts. It seems that you need to be outgoing, charming, and charismatic to really make it big.  For a shy writer, this belief is not only intimidating, it's repulsive.  It seems that we must become someone other than who we are to succeed.  That creates an understandable resistance to the whole idea of making a living from writing.

Writers thrive most whenever they express themselves authentically.  That's why it's important to walk into every networking event as yourself.  If you're shy, be shy. If you hate small talk, don't do small talk.  Simply be yourself in every interaction you have when meeting others to promote your work.

Of course, you may be asking "how can I be myself and still be sociable enough to succeed at networking?"  The best way to defeat your anxieties about networking for your writing is to actually go and do it, as yourself.   

Attend Two Networking Events a Month

In the same way that you didn't have to take a class in order to learn how to ride a bicycle, the best way to learn networking is to just do it.  Find two open networking events happening this month in your local area, and then go to them.  Ideally, space them two weeks apart so you can establish a rhythm to your routine.

A great resource for finding these events is Meetup.com.  This is a site designed to connect like-minded individuals, so if you're a writer, look for writer's guilds, book clubs, and marketing groups to start.

If this idea stirs up your anxiety, then this should calm you: when you go, you don't have to talk to anyone. What you're doing is learning through immersion. Show up without attachment to any particular outcome.  Your only goal is to get in the room.

At these events, you don't need to invent an icebreaker. Everyone is there for the same reason you are: to connect with others in business, so feel free to walk up to anyone and just say "hi". For that same reason, you may not have to do anything to have someone come up to you.  As with riding a bike, you'll get used to networking with practice.  Let your connections happen naturally, and be gentle with yourself. 

Learn From The Experts

As critical as learning by doing is, don't forget to read up on what the experts have to say about connecting with people. I recommend Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People, the cardinal guide on communication for business and pleasure.  Another great read is Nicholas Boothman's How to Make Someone Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, which uses an approach based on neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).


Jody Aberdeen is a freelance writer and the author of the sci-fi romance Convergence.  You can visit his page at www.jodyaberdeen.com or his blog, Another Odd Place For A Hill.  
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Just a bunch of SELL-OUTS!

by Rob Hines

Yeah, I said it.

You're just a bunch of sell-outs.

Peevish Penman is Selling Out
on YouTube!

Carrie shared this idea in a recent podcast, which you can view on our YouTube channel. Just because I'm insulting you doesn't mean I can't promote our stuff.

But don't go there yet. Wait until I'm done calling you names.

By the way, Carrie was much nicer when she brought up the notion on the podcast. I, on the other hand, am choosing to paint with the broad brush. So there.

I really believe it's true, though. We writers are all resigned to sell out in at least one part of our lives in order to be "happy" and/or "successful." The life of an author requires a certain amount of fecal material that we're forced to plod through with a big smile because we're LIVING THE DREAM MAN!

No, you say? Well, you're wrong.

"But Rob, I love to write and I get to write everyday so everything is wonderful!"

Excuse me while I wait for the unicorns to finish flying out of your rectum.

Admit it. There's something you're forced to do on a regular basis that allows you to write, but you'd love to not have to deal with it.

Maybe it's marketing (personally, I dig that stuff, but some people don't). Maybe it's dealing with editors. Maybe it's that damn day job that is supporting your writing pursuits.

And maybe it's the writing itself. If you're being paid to write, you're producing for a specific market. This market is now your boss, and you're committed to writing for them, not for you. Sure, it's better than a life sentence in a cubicle, but you're still giving up a little bit of yourself when you put those words on the page. Congratulations, you're selling out.

Can't deal with that idea? Good, that's what the comment section is for. Just promise you'll read the rest of this first. I can't stand commenters who don't read an entire article.

For those who stayed (I like you), I'm not trying to dissuade an entire community of writers from pursuing their dreams. It's just a fact of this life that we all have to accept, and it may help you determine what your writing path is going to be. Currently, I'm a tremendous sell-out because I'm working a full-time job for the paycheck and benefits, freelancing as a voiceover artist for some extra cash, AND attempting to become a professional writer because I want to write. None of these pursuits are going to bring me intense personal happiness because I'm simply serving someone else in each case. However, I choose to sell out so I can satisfy the one part of my life that brings an endless amount of joy: my family. If I get to do some writing for myself on the side, then that's a bonus.

"Well, just quit your job and write from home."

Who are you and what planet kicked you out?

Sure, that's the romantic version of the story. The writer with a dream gives it all up and lives as a hermit to pursue a career, and yeah, that might have worked for me 15 years ago. But the dream didn't show up until a couple years after I bought a home, and just before my son was born.

Romance be damned! I have mouths to feed, so I'm going to sell out with a smile on my face. Besides, selling out lets me come home to this every day...

That's not fair. He's usually pretty happy.
I'm the one that's crying all the time.

If you don't like the idea of being a sell-out, that's fine. Just come up with a way to become a financially independent, million-selling author without giving up a little time or money in the interest of others. And once you figure that out, please share with the rest of us in the comments below, 'cause I got nothin'.

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Opening up to criticism

by Clark Brooks

I get critics. I understand them. I appreciate that they have an important role to play. People are busy, money and time are scarce. Recommendations, pro or con, can be invaluable to readers. I also know there's a very fine line between critics and trolls, especially now when anybody with an internet connection can cast themselves as a person of influence. This little tidbit from an interview Prince did with Rolling Stone way back in 1985 has always stuck with me...

"One time early in my career, I got into a fight with a New York writer, this real skinny cat, a real sidewinder. He said, 'I'll tell you a secret, Prince. Writers write for other writers, and a lot of time it's more fun to be nasty.' I just looked at him. But when I really thought about it and put myself in his shoes, I realized that's what he had to do. I could see his point. They can do whatever they want." 

My first book isn't published yet so I haven't had a real personal stake in the review process yet. I'm not looking forward to it either. Not because I have thin skin and I dread the idea of people I don't know judging me and saying mean things about my work (that doesn't mean that I'm rough, tough and immune to that kind of thing; I have skin like toilet tissue and I'm already planning on spending a great deal of time in the fetal position in a darkened room once the critics finally get hold of the stupid thing) but because it's one of those things that's part of the deal and everybody has to go through it. I hate that kind of crap, especially the politics of it. All that stuff that isn't actual writing but necessary components of the writing "biz" seem so time consuming and counter-productive in that it has nothing to do with The Creative Process (I put that in caps in case it wasn't clear that I'm an artiste who is in love with the smell of his own farts). All the business parts of this business bore, confuse, frustrate and/or intimidate me. I know I have to sit down and grow up soon, though. A big part of that is embracing critics and reviews. That means taking time to really figure out all the nuances of Good Reads and Amazon and make connections with people whose reviews could be beneficial to me. All of that is going to be time not spent writing and creating product. "Tough luck, Suzie", you're saying (which isn't very nice and you haven't even read my book yet). "It's something every author goes through. Put on a helmet and shut up." And of course, you're right.

That doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it, though.

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The Immortal Online Book Review

by Rob Hines

Sometimes they make you feel like a genius, and sometimes they make you consider giving up your writing career and finding a secluded tribal village where you can hide. If you've ever cursed at a book reviewer through your computer monitor, I have some bad news for you. They may piss you off, but online book reviews aren't going anywhere.

Before TV, before radio, before every modern advertising medium, there was only one way to know what goods and services were best.

What's that guy saying about me?

Word-of-mouth. The great-great-great-grandfather of the Amazon Customer Review.

People asked friends, family, neighbors, and marauders from nearby villages for advice when making purchases and that was how marketing happened until modern media made it easier for merchants to spread their messages.

So here we are in good old 2013 in an overwhelming ocean of media. Even a Hoosier yokel like me can consume an obnoxious amount of marketing messages without ever talking to another person. There's no need for me to seek out another opinion when I can learn everything I need to know about a product from the comfort of my couch.

But I do it. Most of us do it. I'd even bet you've done it.

Anyone who's made a purchase on Amazon has likely ventured into the murky waters of the Customer Reviews section just for a little backup before clicking Add To Cart. It's a behavior that has been ingrained in our hunting and gathering habits for millenia. Our prehistoric ancestors conserved their time and energy by asking for advice on the best places to hunt or find the best vegetation, and now we're trying to conserve time and money by eavesdropping on the opinions of others before buying stuff. And that stuff includes books.

Most books cost money. Reading costs time. To expect someone to commit to investing in your book without doing at least a little research is a bit unrealistic. Readers will ask around, learning if anyone they know has read your stuff. If they get no response, the next logical step is TO THE INTERWEBS! A simple search of your name and "author" or "books" will bring back any website, blog or other internet destination where people are talking about you. Hopefully the chatter is generally positive, which will at least help the buyer like you, and that's a step in the right direction. The real moneymaker comes with a multitude of positive reviews of your writing. When a consumer sees that a sufficient number of other like-minded human beings approve of your work, they're suddenly much more likely to plunk their money down for your life's work.

Prove it, you say? Okay, here are the numbers:

• 52% of consumers surveyed in the 2012 Local Consumer Review Survey said positive online reviews make them more likely to patronize a local business
• 72% of consumers said they trust online reviews as much as personal recommendations (and books are ALWAYS being reviewed online)
• According to recent Weber Shandwick study, shoppers put more value on consumer reviews over expert reviews by a 3 to 1 margin!

Consumers are talking to each other, and they're also listening to each other much more than you may think. Each online book review becomes part of the collective conversation that is creating your image for potential readers. Sure, there are bound to be some rough reviews at times, but it's just part of the marketing machine that's been around since the first Neanderthal panned a cave painting for not showing enough creative thought. 

At least we, as modern writers, are lucky enough to watch those conversations happen in real-time. It gives us the chance to evaluate the opinions and make adjustments where necessary. It also gives us those special moments to revel in our awesomeness when reviewers actually have something nice to say.

You know, like when a blog reader leaves positive comments below an article (cough, cough).

Let's welcome the online book review as a necessary and even (gasp!) helpful part of our growth as writers. We can appreciate the lumps we take as opportunities for evolution, and our reward for this acceptance will be the increasing amount of electronic adulation that is sure to follow.

To our future reviewers, I simply say: take your shots. We welcome them with pride and simply ask that you're just as passionate when we write something you like.

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Spring Cleaning Your Online Presence

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by Carrie Bailey

Sponges? Check. Mop? Check. Forty types of cleaners for every type of surface with 72 different fragrances and ingredients, all of which work no better than a bottle vinegar, but make you feel like a professional, because you know which ones combine to create mustard gas? Check.

Now that the house is clean or this yearly ritual has been firmly marked on your to-do-possibly-next-week list, what about your online presence? If you've been writing for more than a few months, you've probably used social media, opened accounts and posted work, blogged and left your mark anywhere someone else would allow. That's all part of self-promotion when you're pursuing the life of a writer, but what about those broken blog links... that outdated forum profile... the substandard version of that one publication you let that guy post on that one site what-was-it-called?

It's time to clean up your online image, maintain your online presence and generally engage in a little writerly spring cleaning. And to get motivated, here's some ideas:

1. Close unused accounts online 

When I first started writing, I tried every online community that came up in a Google search. I met wonderful writers and forged new friendships everywhere. Unfortunately, the profiles on these old accounts no longer reflect where I am in my career. One example is AuthorNation.com where I had declared that "I'm writing a children's book, writing odes, and I manage a literary blog" and I haven't visited or posted for over two years.

Your online presence should be part of a clear message to readers that communicates what you offer them. Outdated profiles undermine and confuse that message. Of course, it's up to you how many profiles and sites you feel you can maintain, but aim for consistency and delete old accounts that don't meet your objective.

2. Update your image

We age. We're mortal. No matter how much more attractive you look in that 10 year old photo, people need to be able to recognize you from it. For many, a two year old photo may be outdated, for others, like one of my professors who confessed to the age of his photo for a course I was taking this year, a 10 year old photo may look as though it were taken yesterday. Get a second opinion on the matter.

My own Twitter image is a Halloween picture of myself heavily made-up as a zombie, but at the time, I liked it and I didn't expect to be meeting people who saw it. I was living dead wrong and without heaps of oily make-up caked upon my gorgeousness, I'm not sure they knew what to think.


3. General repairs

I've got broken links on my blog. I've got blog posts I wish hadn't happened. I've got work to do.

Once I've cleaned up my online presence, I'm going to tackle my desktop files and image folders and novel draft folders and paper notes... if I have time.

Carrie Bailey is the co-editor of Peevish Penman currently studying Library Science in New Zealand and not currently writing as often as she would like except for academic works of genius that no one will ever read.