The Most Effective Hand Selling Technique For Authors I've Ever Seen

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by Jody Aberdeen

My first public signing as an author, independent or otherwise, happens at the end of the month.

I don't know what the rules are Stateside or elsewhere, but in Canada, when you're an independently published author and you want to market your book, there's only one show in town: Chapters-Indigo, our big happy national chain of bookstores, kind of like Barnes and Noble, only more awesome! 

(And I'm not saying that just because I work there on weekends and some evenings).

As such, it's rather fortuitous that our fearless leader Carrie Bailey decided to go with this topic this month, and also rather serendipitous that I found myself, two weeks ago, shadowing a fellow independent author who had what I and Mercury astronaut Gordo Cooper like to call "the right stuff". 

What is the right stuff?  You can see Carrie's recent entry for some great techniques, but I'd like to share what I learned from this writer.

Toronto author Yahaya Baruwa is the twentysomething author of his novel (and the first of a trilogy) called Struggles of a Dreamer, having migrated here in his teens from Nigeria to seek his fortune.  Unhappy with the cookie-cutter templates offered by such print on-demand companies as Lulu and iUniverse, Yahaya decided to start his own publishing company dedicated to his own project.

At one point, Yahaya was selling his book door to door in affluent neighbourhoods in Toronto and its suburbs.  He has also marketed an infomercial-style YouTube commercial for his book, offering a free can of Tim Horton's coffee with every book purchase. 

Yahaya has faced every kind of rejection you can imagine: doors slammed in his face, being told off, having his work criticized to his face.  He does his signings predominantly alone, requiring him to travel with his books and banners to faraway places such as my own store out in Milton, about 40 miles away from the eastern side of Toronto.

He has hired teams of marketers to either go door to door or promote his book in their own businesses and social circles, taking 50% as profit for each book they sell (an idea I toyed with a long time ago, but didn't actually implement...kinda kicking myself now for all the lost potential sales I could have had).

For his efforts and entrepreneurial spirit, Yahaya Baruwa has earned close to six figures in revenue over the past two years from Struggles of a Dreamer alone, making him arguably the most successful independent author in Canada.  And he's just getting started.

A Highly Effective Technique

Yahaya's sales technique, which I told him I was shamelessly emulating for my signings for "Convergence",  is the most effective model I've seen.  I had the chance to shadow him during my shift at the store during his signing.  Here's my takeaway:

1. Positioning

- Get your table at the front of the store.  Set up eye-catching props and signage, but nothing too gimmicky.  Yahaya set up his banner on a stand and a small sign on his table in front of his books.  That's it.

- Look good.  Guy Writers, wear a blazer and dressy jeans.  Girl Writers, wear.....whatever you'd normally wear to a professional kind of job, I don't pay attention to such things.  (Probably one reason I'm still single...but I digress).

- Wear comfy but good looking shoes, with insoles if you, like me, are heavy on your feet.  The comfortable shoes rule is important because you should also...

-  Be standing the whole time.  Yahaya had no chair.  It kept him out of the comfort zone of sitting at the table, using his books and props as a fortress to hide from his potential customer base.  Do the same thing.

2. Approach

- Build up your energy before you start.  Could be through meditation, creative visualization, or smoking some crack cocaine (this still being Rob Ford's Toronto and all...for now), but make sure you're in a positive, outgoing, energized mood when you start.

- Meet the eyes of every customer who comes in.  Smile and say hello.  Ask them: "Would you like to hear about my book today?". 

- If they say "no", and most of them will, don't just take it and feel rejected.  Instead, brand yourself in their minds.  Yahaya's method is particularly good.  "That's no problem.  Would you at least remember the title of my book: 'Struggles of a Dreamer'"?  Nine customers out of ten will say yes.

This kills two birds with one stone: you're able to shake off the rejection (which, admit it, is your biggest fear) AND you brand yourself in the process.  

The branding component is especially effective.  Days after Yahaya's signing, I was telling a co-worker at my full-time job about it and she said, "Wait, is this the guy who wrote 'Struggles of a Dreamer'?"  Turns out she had seen him at another store, declined to buy his book, and was asked the same question.  This shit works, y'all!

- If they say "yes", pause your sales pitch and introduce yourself. Shake their hands, get to know their names.   Personal connection and energy is what separates a shitty salesman from a good one.  People like feeling empowered, and few things empower a customer more than a real connection.  And I'm serious: be authentically interested.  Who are these people who have just said "yes" to your book? Don't you want to know? 

-  Prep your elevator pitch for your novel.  You should already have this ready in the form of your cover jacket description.  If you find that what you've written is a little too wordy to be spoken, then reduce it until you're comfortable rolling it off your tongue (and, um, consider doing the same with your cover jacket description in the next edition).  Should last no longer than twenty seconds to say it all out loud.

- Emphasize the now.  Yahaya tells his customers "I'm in the store for today only, and if you buy my book, I'd be more than happy to sign it to you."  Really, if you like reading, how often do you get the opportunity to have the author stand right in front of you to sign it?  It's quite a privilege, even if we ourselves as authors don't think so, and it's a great nudge to buy now.  After all, he's only here for one day.

- Know when to STFU!  Yahaya makes his case in under thirty seconds, then does one of the most critical things in the process:  he hands them a copy of the book....then says nothing.  This is an old rule: you negotiate, then you shut up.  As my Dad says about buying a car: "whoever talks first loses".

Everyone likes to buy, no one likes to be sold. At this point, you've done all you can do: ball is in the customer's court to buy or not buy.  If they say no, take your book back, thank them for their interest and for meeting them, then move on.

(And, of course, ask them to remember your title). 

And if they say yes, thank them for the sale, sign their copy - making sure to spell their names right, for Valen's sake - and shake their hands before directing them to the cashier. 

Understanding What's At Stake

As a bookseller with Indigo, I've seen a lot of independent authors come in.  They don't do well.  They fiddle with their phones, they don't interact with customers (or do so poorly), no eye contact.  They don't smile.  Some of them even get up from their signing tables and parade around the store.  That's why the average independently-published author sells only two or three copies of their books in any given four-to-six hour sitting. 

By contrast, Yahaya brought 50 books with him and sold 40 in a single visit.  The only reason he didn't sell all 50, in my view, was because he showed up in the afternoon and we had to close the store.  At an average of about $10 profit per book (minus Indigo's cut), Yahaya made $400 in a day, or a little under what I make in a week working for 40 hours for someone else at a non-writing job.  

And it's a good book.  I'm really enjoying Struggles of a Dreamer, which I find to be very reminiscent of all the great things I loved about Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, but told with multiple levels of narrative that, though it took a little while to adjust to at first, I'm now very much enjoying.

Guys and gals, if you set up a signing event, don't waste your time or your venue's time by screwing it up being timid.  Even if it's just for those few hours, you need to evolve yourself into an effective author salesman.  No one's asking you to push something that other people won't want: all you need to do is let your passion for your own story that you've written find an outlet through effective technique, and you'll win.  It takes practice and rehearsal, but you can do it.  

Yahaya Baruwa isn't all that much different from me: in many ways, he's just an ordinary guy with a dream. If he can do it and he's an ordinary guy, why can't you? 

My signing's on Saturday, July 13th, from 12:00pm to 4:00pm at Indigo Milton, 1180 Steeles Ave in Milton, Ontario, about 40 minutes outside of Toronto.  This will be the first of many.  If you live in the area, feel free to stop on by and watch me demonstrate my shameless adaptation of Yahaya's highly effective technique. 

Visit www.strugglesofadreamer.com to see Yahaya's book and learn more about him.

And, of course, once I get everything nice and updated, visit www.jodyaberdeen.com to find more information on my novel, "Convergence".   

Stay tuned for Part II, which I'll write after the signing itself...

3 Ways to Inspire People to Buy Your Book

by Carrie Bailey

What thoughts circle around when you think about selling your book? Author platforms? Getting it finished? Getting it started? Querying? Publishers? Agents? Perhaps inspire isn't the first word that comes to mind when you think about selling your book, but no matter where you are in your career, it could be a good time to sneak that one in with the rest. 

"How am I going to sell my book?"

"How am I going to inspire people to buy my book?"

A lot of writers don't know where to start when they think about selling a book or they're VERY concerned about becoming that guy, the creepy sales person, gold necklace, greasy hair. Or worse, that writer, who asks everyone to buy her book over and over on social media, but you never hear what it is about or why you might like it. We're dignified bibliophiles, not the worst stereotype of a used car salesman on a budget lot manifest as a bookwright, right? That part is easy. Don't be a creep. You're probably not a creep now and we can keep it that way.

1. Ask "YOU" questions 

Most conversations with authors start out with "I" statements and bore listeners to tears. In this case, I do mean face to face conversations rather than correspondence online. Often, I find myself wanting to pat authors on the back and say, "I mean, it's really great that you wrote a book and thanks for reciting its synopsis verbatim, but why did you think I would be interested or did you forget I was sitting here with you?" Other authors will start the conversation by telling me that I wouldn't like what they wrote and even tell me what the genre might be. And I'm like, "HUH? Is it because of my hair style?" No matter who you're talking to about your book, you need to engage them, get to know them as a reader and inspire them. This is process that can take many directions and gets easier with practice. 

My book is about [insert synopsis here].

Do you find much time to read? Have you ever read any science fiction? 

You probably wouldn't like it. 

What authors have you read? Do you have any friends who read science fiction? Do you know who they like? And what about you?

Each conversation you have about your book should be about the reader's interests and how your book fits in with them. While they may not be likely to buy or read your book - perhaps they prefer romance and you write horror - you can leave them with enough understanding of what your book is about that it might spark a connection with someone they know at work, a friend or someone in their family. Who knows? The worse that can happen from a good conversation is that they go to someone and say, "Oh, I met this horror author who writes that terrible stuff that you just LOVE!" Because? Inspiration travels. 

Another way to use "YOU" questions to your advantage is to post them on social media. Of course everyone wants to know what you had for breakfast and what temperature your coffee is now, but asking "YOU" questions can engage people.

I'm drinking very expensive coffee with important people today.

What is your favorite coffee drink? Who did you share it with? I think I just had my best coffee moment today.

2. Find common ground

The main reason why a good number of people don't want to buy your book is not because they don't understand it or they don't have good taste, but it is because they don't know anyone else who has read it. We are intensely social creatures, us humans. We want to spend our time doing things that make us feel connected and part of specific social groups. We want to hear our own ideas and values expressed in what we read. We do not want to find ourselves sitting on a plane, reading a book and look over at an unpleasant smelly guy with the political button and religious necklace from the groups we are most uncomfortable with turning the pages and relishing the same book as us. In general, readers want to read the same books as the people they identify with or want to identify with.

How can an author incorporate this inalienable truth of human nature to inspire more people to read? By getting more social. I don't mean transform from an introvert into an extrovert. I mean that you can show people why reading your book now is a great idea for them...socially.

My book is popular with single women ages 34-49 who live alone and have more than 2 cats.

Do you like animals? The heroine of my story past college age, but hasn't settled down or had kids yet. She has a black cat named Mortimer. 

It's not really popular with YOUR group. 

You might not like it, because there is a bit of sex/violence/religion/supernatural phenomena in my story that normally turns a few people off, but it's certainly not the focus. You could give it a try and let me know.   

"Where would the Twilight series - written with the YA crowd in mind - be without the forty something crowd?"

Yep. Never exclude a potential reader. Just keep the conversation open and let them decide.

Maintain awareness of who you are talking with when you explain why your book is worth reading. If they only read popular books or books in their book club, don't push it if you're selling a eBook with a circulation of less than two hundred. Aim for early adopters. Early book adopters that is. Find someone who enjoys discovering and sharing a new book or likes knowing obscure facts and information about not commonly read works. These people may be more interested in giving your work a first glance.

3. Give them a reason to buy it now (rather than later)

Having a sale is not about the price of the book. Seriously, this is such an important statement that I'm going to type it again: having a sale is not about the price of the book. A sale only gives people a reason to buy it now rather than later. And that is crucial to giving people a reason to buy now. 

How many times have you gone into a bookstore and seen a book you wanted, but you didn't buy it? Hah! I know, right? I can't carry that many books even. Maybe you had other books you wanted more. Perhaps, you thought that the book looked great, but knew you could always buy it later...

And that is when book sales come in. And limited editions. And signed copies. Every special offer needs to be set for a limited duration so that people who are already interested have an incentive to choose your book over everything else that they could buy. If you're talking to them directly, give them a discount if they buy one for a friend. If they have a book club, offer a book club price.

Inspiring people to read your book is about helping them unearth the reasons they, specifically, would benefit from purchasing or checking out your book right now. So, just remember the word inspire, because whether or not they make a purchase that day, you can still leave them feeling good about you, your work and themselves, too. 

A Short Collection of my most Controversial and Opinionated Observations on Writers

by Carrie Bailey

If you suck as a person, you will suck as a writer and everyone who reads your work will be granted great insight into exactly how you draw into your mouth by contracting the muscles of the lip and mouth to make a partial vacuum. 

 I’m not saying great writers are great people. Some are the emotional equivalent of a tar pit or a new strain of bird flu. They are very much themselves when they write and happen to be jerks.

What I am saying is that if you have an obvious fault in your personality, it will come out in your writing. I say this thinking about an aspiring YA writer I read with teenage characters having dark jaded and sophisticated sexual relationships that screamed PEDOPHILE to me. I know teenagers can be complex emotional creatures, but this writer was clearly drawing from his own sophisticated sexual

"Hi, I've just finished reading your first draft. I realize
these are unusual circumstances, but I have just sent
a copy to a mental health professional and the authorities. Also,
there were numerous typos on page 6 and 27."

confusion. Most writers aren't as transparently cringeworthy as this man, although published fantasy author, Piers Anthony, certainly is.

How Not to Write a Novel is a book with a lot of examples where writers just get creepy. I recommend reading it.

Creepiness is only one obvious fault that a person can have. Some authors are shallow, overly idealistic, racist, timid, boring... and that's why they suck. Sure, they can still get published. People do, but a writer has to balance out their negative repulsive qualities with enough good ones to tip the scale in favor of attraction.

Bookishness does not make you a superior form of life anymore than wearing glasses makes you more intelligent.

A lot of farmers don’t have time to read, although many listen to a great number of audio books. A lot of poor single mothers don’t have time to read. Many worthwhile people have lives that don’t involve reading books. Time to read is a privilege. It irks me when writers pat themselves on the back for having a noble hobby as if we've all forgotten that there was an era when reading was considered an immoral distraction from responsibility. Humanity can survive without books, but we can’t live without food. Respect the hardworking people who don't read, they may just be catching your book when it gets released on film.

Shocking! It is possible for someone to follow an "author" on social media and not be their adoring fan. 

I bubble over with revulsion whenever an author I friend on Facebook, adds me, and then posts a “Thank-you for friending me” message on my wall. Why don't they thank me privately? Because, they want my friends to see that I made the choice to friend them. Bastards! My Facebook wall is not for you! People I know personally are more considerate about posting on my wall than these authors I've just met.

Real fans are not numbers on social media. Authors friend each other as colleagues not as fans. We inflate each others numbers to make each other look more popular. Sometimes we do read each others work. We share technique, stories and industry information, but we are rarely fans.

Fans are people who are in awe of a writer's work. It can be very uncomfortable to get your first real fans, because you may never have experienced that sort of un-tempered and unreciprocated adoration. While some people may be impressed that you wrote a book, they don’t necessarily plan to read what you wrote. Authors who treat every social media contact as a fan need to recognize the difference!

Being a successful writer is a group effort and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to be led into the forest and left there for 20 days with only saltine crackers.

People, who I know offline, come to me all the time and say that they would like to be a successful author. Can I make that happen? No. I cannot. I have only single digit book sales each week myself and that great trickle of dimes has taken me three years to unleash. People who believe that anyone wields the power to make them successful overnight are naïve. It is kind of cheek-pinching cute though.

However, there are arrogant pricks among writers who knowingly perpetuate this mythology of the author. One day, we click the last button and place the final period on the last paragraph of our great masterpiece. There it sits. Moments later, fans are pounding on our door. Why? Because, authors either have it or they don't; that elusive something that drives sales. It's magic!

Do you agree? Better not. I will come. I will find you and we are going out for a little walk in the woods. We'll have a nice chat. I will leave you there.

If I do take the time to give a writer advice, I expect them to either show me some support by reading one of my books, promoting me, or turn around and mentor someone else. A writer’s time isn’t free just because we aren’t paid hourly. But, we give a lot of it away, because a lot of people gave their time away to us. Now, there it is. The connection between writing and success is a lot of time invested and a lot of help from other people. We have to learn about the industry, make connections, and promote our work. No magic. Just time and the hard work and time of other people.

Giving blanket advice to writers is wrong and dumb and mean and thoughtless and a generally bad idea.

There is no advice that applies to every writer. We’re all at different points in our artistic development and career. But, sometimes people get stuck in a herd…of writers, which they find comforting and validating. And then. They get cultish. It happens.

These rabid and blind writers start to believe they have found absolute knowledge about being an author. They begin to form rules. And that isn't criminal. But, someone of these creatures with laptops and pens, go after the young and those new to writing. They attempt to validate their rules by forcing others to follow them. They oppress creativity. They crush the artistic spark. They douse the fires. They trap the muse in a small cage and poke her with a stick.

Having said that, I would like invite you to read a copy of The Handbook of the Writer Secret Society. It's free when you follow our site and connect with us. While there are no oppressive rules to follow, authors do benefit from the company and companionship of encouraging and unoppressive writers and we've captured that in book form. This handbook holds the epiphanies, experiences and humor of many new authors progressing in their careers within our changing industry.

There are only two types of writers.

Idiots and fools. No! Kidding! We are engaging in a difficult process with uncertain reward or benefit, but there is nothing foolish about it. The benefit of writing is unique to each person and infinitely meaningful to many.

However, I personally classify writers into two categories: the hopeful and hopeless. Some writers add hope to my life and some take it away. It's that simple. I try to avoid the later. I try to identify them early on during our association and keep my distance. It's my overly simplified opinion that this distinction exists and I am proud to say that it has helped keep me writing. But, more than that. It is my opinion and not one I adopted from someone else.

Having and knowing and articulating my opinions is grand. I'm not sure I do it often enough. This month at Peevish Penman, all the authors and I are being opinionated just to practice opening up and saying what we really think without worrying about offending or alienating people. If you have a very opinionated post on your blog about writers, please link to it in the comments. I'd love to read it.

How Old is Your Book in Book Years?

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by Carrie Bailey

"Hi, my name is Carrie and I am an independent author." I said nervously.

"Hi, Carrie," groaned the room full of supportive peers. That was when I broke into a frantic explanation of how wanting to get reviews of my books had caused my life to spiral out of control... 

"...and then I blackmailed the guy, which I know is wrong, but..." 

Every time I take my writing career to the next level, I feel like I need a support group to confess to. Maybe that's why I host this multi-author blog - to surround myself with other people who can and sometimes do look me straight in the eye and say, "Yes, you're going too far. Put the gun down."

That's just my overactive imagination talking. I AM FINE.

Or am I? Last night, I had a Skype conference with Clark Brooks a writer I've long been convinced is a comedic genius and a favorite of mine to read. He was struggling with the late stages of assembling a book he'd written and found the process incredibly discouraging. I'd been there before, but I'd gotten past that hurdle of frustration and doubt. I have three short works, which I've put together and released through Amazon and Smashwords. By the time I finished the third, I felt like an expert.

Come on a tangent with me for a second into the details of my life for one moment... I'm a single mother who, most of the time, was too young to be raising a child without the support of the deceased father, my family, or anyone really other than neurotic social workers who wouldn't take, "You need help more than I do," for an answer. My now 17 year old is an only child.

I can say that bringing a book to life is a lot like having a baby. It's overwhelming. You might call it off after one attempt, as I did with parenting, but where I can't confirm that children are easier to raise in batches, I will say producing books does get easier with experience. Though I am at the infant stage with both of my books. I released The 3 Indispensable 3 Rules for Taking Charge in February of this year and followed up last month with Bungle of Oz. It was like having twins.

Clark, my friend, is still pregnant. No wonder he is nervous. We authors have to support each other through this.

But, me? Yeah, I'm still a frantic new author. I don't know what I'm doing or how to get meaningful reviews. And I'm so proud that I'm over sharing on social media and bragging about each minor accomplishment my books have.

"Oh, isn't that so cute!" I say to the other indie authors on Facebook. "Someone has written a positive review for my book on their author blog. And look there! Three people have retweeted the link to it. And what's that? A sale. Author so proud of her little booky-wooky."

Let me get my wallet out, here's a family photo:

Sob!! They grow up so fast don't they? Wail! Boo-hoo!

You can slap me now, but "How old is your book in book years?" How many do you have? Has it gotten easier? Do you know what to expect now? Can you remember what it was like the first time?

No, by the way, the books do not actually compare to my son. But, he has taught me a lot about life and what a person can achieve with time and patience. He's brought me coffee when I slowed down. He's shared my work with his friends. He's been my number one fan.

When I look at him today, I don't see the struggles anymore. There were times when I couldn't believe I could even keep him alive and safe and out of jail and still in school and free from tattoos for another month. I cried for help every other year, desperately and with a box of kleenex while hiding in my closet, but in the end I have a handsome, healthy, good natured son.

Anything worthwhile requires dedication. I've learned that from parenting and I now apply this hard learned lesson to every great endeavor, especially writing. Doing anything new takes time and patience and I've also learned that 17 years can go by incredibly fast. And I've also learned that anything worthwhile will be hell 80% of the time until you arrive. My son has prepared me...for ANYTHING.

Now, as I cradle my infant books in my file folders, I know if I can be a good parent to my son, I've got a fair shot at being a good author to my little booky-wookies, too.

Are You Ready or Not? New Beginnings

By Molly Field

As a writer, nothing brings you greater satisfaction than penning that crisp sentence, flowing with the prose you not only create yourself, but with excellent writing offered by other authors.

Because we fancy ourselves a complex species, the opposite side of the same coin proposes that as a writer, nothing brings you greater senses of defeat and challenge than the words of other authors.

Spring is coming. The cherry blossoms on our neighborhood trees are pinking and peeking; the cardinals and robins are chatty, looking for wives. The sun is shining a little stronger and a little brighter every day. Spring, brings Macy's white sales and thoughts of purging, spring cleaning, new beginnings. I believe that many "New Year's Resolutions" should really be made on the first day of spring because in the winter, it's still too cold (at least where I live) to begin training for a marathon outside. (Yes, I am aware that not all NYRs focus on fitness.)

So for this month, we are encouraged to talk to you about new beginnings, fresh starts... This is a challenge for me because I am in the throes of a mental reorganization myself. But no time like the present, eh?

I didn't know what I was going to write about today. I get my prompt from our fearless leader, and sometimes I gnaw on a bone and other times I just bang one out. This time, I did a little of both. 

Without boring you to tears, I gave up Facebook for Lent. I'm not terrifically Catholic, but the opportunity was so well-timed and I wanted an out anyway, that I couldn't resist. It had all become too much for me.

My intention was to spend that time working on my book's drafts and edit it, which I have done, but not with the attention I paid to my Facebook "career." So clearly, I've got some work to do. The thing is though, that yesterday, my cousin sent me the cover art for her friend's new book, Flat Water Tuesday, a story about competitive rowing and young love. As an adult rower who hails from a renown rowing town, whose extended family rowed, whose parents met because of rowing, and whose brothers and cousins and now son row, the book has a no-brainer appeal for me.

It is not ironic (rather I consider it cosmically inspired) that when that cover art came to me, I was also on the phone being wooed by an exiting board member of my novice son's rowing club to be... yeah: president. I have attended one general membership meeting. They do have their ducks in a row over there, but my "pedigree" was undeniable and most of the board members are land lubbers. I said yes. (D'OH!) We'll see how it goes. It could be great. New beginnings, right?

The energy of these new starts, beginnings, etc., theme is intoxicating; it reminds me of when That Boy looked at me for the first time. The theme for today's post is coursing through me like whisky. I am simultaneously totally psyched and utterly petrified. 

It was one year ago this week, that I sat on my cousin's micro deck beneath the unseasonably warm sun in Buffalo where we talked about her friend's book. He'd just signed on with an agent; a publisher was totally interested. The energy was ramping up. They were talking contracts, money, real business. A part of me died inside when I heard all this. I thought, "I'll never be there... this guy's amazing..." and yet a part of me never died, because that summer I wrote my book. The one that needs the editing and the love I need to give it. I can't blame Facebook; I blame me.

I'm stuck now, just a little, but stuck enough to say this about new beginnings: I am considering writing my foreword now. However, I have this sense that I'm going to end up writing a whole new book, in fact the feeling that I will end up writing a whole new version of that book is undeniable. Is that so bad?

I am an Adult Child of Alcoholics, plural. We ACOAs don't have much luck or experience finishing things, but I know this: if I get started on something that I love, I never give it up. I push and push and push. And while I know that writing that first version of my book was cathartic and amazing, the next revised version, the one that spawns through this foreword, is going to be even better, even clearer. I just need six uninterrupted weeks. Why did I say yes to the rowing club?

But I have to be careful. As an ACOA I am constantly doubting myself, my intuition, my gut. I question the enthusiasm I have for something, I wonder if what I'm doing is enough or valuable. I get so caught up in the questioning of the act that I seldom act. It seems the only thing that fuels my fire to get up and keep going is a silent rage that is borne of the frustration that constant second guessing yields.

People who don't know the world of an ACOA look at us when we talk about it as if we have three heads. "What do you mean you hid under your bed for hours listening for your angry parent to close their door for the night?" or "What do you mean you cooked your own food when you were five? Who does that?" or the other ACOAs in your life will nod knowingly. Either way, you end up talking about that stuff for hours until you can't anymore; you're either sharing stories with people who also survived it, or your busy trying to convince people that those memories were real. It can be taxing.

I'm writing about all this here, so candidly, because I can. It's my literary place under the bed. I'm 45 years old and I'm still worried that my parents will be mad at me if I write about my life. The spiteful kid inside me, my Peter Pan, says this, "Do you think for one minute they considered your anger feelings?" and I think for a moment, sigh, look into the distance and tell Peter, "I have no clue."

Just to be clear, I didn't grow up in tatters under a shanty on a mountainside; we had no want for anything material. My parents were well-educated, connected and intelligent people. I was constantly reminded of my potential, that I could be a concert violinist if I wanted, but I didn't want that. Because they are also ACOAs, my parents knew the damage that negative talk can do. However, it can sound cliché, but it was what they didn't say that spoke louder than anything they did say.

Right now, I can feel the energy ebb a smidge, but the passion is still there; the nagging thought that this foreword can be the jack to "unstuck" me must be attended to. It must be honored.

New beginnings are here for all of us. You don't have to be an ACOA to have them. You just have to be willing to leave the past in the past and if you can summon any ounce of courage from those crushing days that kept you going to today, use it to move you to tomorrow and get that book published.

We are writers. Let's do this.

come out come out, wherever you are. photo credit: me

   

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Do You Fear Success or Failure?

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by Carrie Bailey

When I was younger, my mother told me that my father - though a talented artist - never finished anything he started. And if he did, he finished it too quickly. Over the years her words grew into a phobia that has clung to every creative endeavor I've started. Because she considered him a failure, I quickly developed the fear that I too would be incapable of knowing how and when to finish a project.

Cover art of Bungle of Oz
Can't believe I forgot to put
my name on it...

Flash forward twenty years, one kid, two degrees and one thousand different hair styles. This week I'm doing the final edits for a book I will release this month called Bungle of Oz. I am paralyzed by doubts. I know. It's not normal, but it happens to me sometimes and not even a half a dozen cups of coffee will fix it.

First, let me tell you everything I've done to avoid finishing the novel. After a few months without contact, I finally wrote a letter to my ex-boyfriend telling him off for putting alcohol before our basic needs last year before I left him and New Zealand...for good. I had a good cry. I ate a few donuts. I chatted with Winonah, my sister, about our deep dark old musty smelly family issues. I tweeted. I posted on Facebook how awesome my sister is. I cried again. I thought about eating more donuts, but I used my last shred of will power to avoid it. Then, I ate a pineapple. I got hugs from my son and my roommate. I put on Harry Potter and had a cry at the part where Harry accepts that he, like Jesus, must sacrifice himself for the sake of humanity.

I can't blame hormones. I'm not imbalanced. I'm not stressed. I've been eating well and exercising. My life is pretty good. So why am I having a total meltdown?

For the same reason I feel bad when I end unhealthy relationships, eat the last donut in the box or move to a new city. It's hard to let go especially if the donuts have coconut on them. I'm even sad that Voldemort died. I got used to reading how he was defeated, passing the book to my kid, and holding my breath for two or three days until I could talk to the kid about the story without spoiling it for him. That will never happen again.

The end of a project, however exciting it may be, comes with new beginning - transition from being a writer to being a bookseller. Ah, now we come closer to the real source of my fear. Things change now. Though I realistically don't expect to sell many copies of Bungle of Oz, because Oz books in general aren't in high demand, I am now free to work on writing project that have more potential.

It's okay if you quit reading now - nobody has to dive into my neuroses with me - but, be warned - that's where I'm heading.  

Nothing wrong with being a hobo and a writer.
There's a lot of perks that come with the territory.
Like riding the open rail and camping.
Also, everyone already expects
you to drink and act inappropriate in public.

FAILURE

Why is it scary? Because I'd probably be comforted by all the gleeful people who never tried anything difficult themselves. I'd have to work in a library or bookstore for all time - actually, that's not so bad. I would never get to prove wrong certain people who made my life more difficult. I might lose confidence. My writer friends might reject me. My son and sister might stop admiring me.

SUCCESS

Honestly, I don't fear success. I fear yachts.
Because, that's where successful people hang out.
The day you've arrived is when the
success committee comes to issue you a yacht.
Then, if you're me, the yacht catches fire. 

How could that possibly be something to fear? Well, I'd lose the fantasy that everything is better when you achieve your dreams, because I'd still get pimples, I'd still have to fill out forms and I'd still loose friends to disease and accidents. I'd have to manage more responsibility. Even more people would envy me and not refrain from being pricks about it.

But, here's what is great about being a writer. I can't fail. Only not writing at all is failure. And there is no true point when a writer can say they have arrived. Until I sell as many copies as the authors of the Bible - a popular anthology with a few thousand years head start on me - I can always just set the bar higher. Success is a process. So, why have I been crying when deep down I know this?

My meltdown does not have its roots in a fear of change or success or even failure. It started with a belief that I was introduced to at a young age unwittingly by my mother. I believe that finishing a project is not as easy as starting one. I believe that screwing things up at the end is how creative types operate. It's amazing how a simple idea has taken hold in my mind and caused me so much anxiety. It's preventing me from enjoying the process. It's not my mother's fault either. It's not mine. It's not an issue of who is responsible. It's just a fact that raises an important question.

Why don't I open up my book, do the final edits and enjoy it as much as I did when I first started the project?

All I have to do is take a few deep breaths, open the files for my final chapters and edit. Focus on how much fun it is to write - I can't lie to myself about editing. Remind myself that I love sharing my books and getting reviews.

My sister gave me some good advice when we talked this weekend. She told me to take a break. Seriously, it was wise like only an older sister can be. All I need to do is wrestle my neuroses into submission and then resume the writing. This is a good time to watch Dr. Who and read Alex M. Bright's book TRIsocialization. And just because I have to start a new project soon, doesn't mean I cannot relish the end of this one and give it the attention the readers deserve. I can, because I believe I can.

My mom also read me The Little Engine that Could.
I loved that book. Of course, the train didn't have an artistic temperament.
Could the little engine finish a painting or is this just a story about physical labor?

***

Why wasn't it The Little Typewriter that Could?

***

I think I can.
I think I can.
I think I can.

***

Nah, it's not working.
Maybe I'll just reward myself with donuts when I finish.
That's motivation.

Authors Wanted: Must Like People

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by Carrie Bailey

Librarians and certain bookstore workers frighten me. Try suspend belief here just briefly as I explain. I've worked as a librarian and in a bookstore, I have a Masters in library science and I love books. Naturally, I shouldn't be afraid of librarians or booksellers, but I am, because the precise people who are attracted to books are often the people who just don't like other people. They're the type of individuals who will dip your toothbrush in the toilet when you're not looking. They'll stick gum on your seat when you go to get your third cup of coffee.

A Mobile Curmudgeon Wagon Where I Once Worked

You're flesh and blood and that irks them on the deepest level. Okay, I exaggerate. I've met some friendly and dedicated librarians, but I've also dealt with individuals who purposefully place barcodes across the faces of the characters on your favorite books, because they don't just hate you, they also hate your books. They only love their books.

Behind that nasty glare, these, the bad librarians are often thinking to themselves, "Books understand me." I can relate to this feeling. I've read a book and though it was like entering the walk in closet of another person's mind, it was also like being welcomed home into that tiny closet and served tea. I was wanted. As a reader, I felt important or somehow privileged to be part of reading experience.

This sort of reading experience is only possible, because at some point in time, there was an author who wrote those books and that person liked people. That author had a general, fundamental, inherent and inalienable love of humanity and individual human beings regardless of how bitter or how smelly they could become. A book is not a pile of loosely bound paper understanding that understands us better than our coworkers or family. It is the blood, sweat, laughter and the love of a great writer.

I don't want to go personally library to library to find the world's curmudgeons and force a hug on each of them (well, I do, but the time involved...). Instead, I can watch Black Books and be enjoy the cantankerous bookstore owner and love him without wanting to change him just as the writers who created the character did. They didn't want Bernard Black to stop hating people or drinking or smoking or frightening the public with his personal hygiene. Why should they?

We love to read authors who love people. We love to read those most who can find something about everyone agreeable and accept imperfections, maybe even ours.

As authors, I think it helps to remember this. It doesn't mean we have to write sappy, drippy, runny love notes instead of books. Rather, we can consider the difference between the last book we read that felt as though the author was indifferent, condescending or even patronizing of our perfectly functional brains,  and the one we enjoyed. Oddly, some horror authors are the most cuddly individuals you could want to meet. Naturally, we want to read their gore, because there is something in it, something special. Whatever it is, put it in your writing and send that special feeling of being understood to all the librarians and bookstore owners the world over, because that's what a great writer does.

Carrie Bailey is the author of The 3 Indispensable Rules for Taking Charge: A Reptilian Guide to Personal Finance and World Domination and blogs on Tumblr. She recently moved from New Zealand to North Carolina and is currently moonlighting in a giant gummy bear factory while working on an Oz book about the glass cat, Bungle.